


where do you end (where do i begin)

by mothsalt



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, VERY taako and lup centric, alternating scenes from taako and lup, i am very passionate about these two, i wanted to write about the twinz and thats all, major character death only applicable for the stolen century bits, rated teen for swearing and slight gore and death, taako has a rough cycle when lup dies, thats only relevant for cycles 28 and 29, the ipre crew show up about through and theres only one bit about krav but yknow, tw suicidal thoughts, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 13:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21410593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothsalt/pseuds/mothsalt
Summary: Taako and Lup's story ends hundreds of years later, but that's not where it begins. It begins at age eleven, at their parents funeral, being gossiped about by all of their relatives.It begins with a Twin Smush.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 85





	where do you end (where do i begin)

Age Eleven and Ten Months

“I just feel horrible for those two, losing their parents so young.”

“I know, I couldn’t imagine it.”

“Besides, Cumon and Solansa were only in their four hundreds...so much life left to live, raising their kids.” 

Taako grabbed tighter onto his brothers arm, twisting their bodies around so that they molded together like clay. The funeral had lasted all morning, and both twins were exhausted and hungry. After all, they were both so little and both their parents had just been killed. 

Taako thought about his mother. The bedtime stories she used to tell the twins, the way her long blonde hair tumbled down to her waist, the mornings spent playing in the forest outside of their cottage, all four of them. He thought about his father, teaching Taako to climb trees and how to swim across the creek. 

Taako smushed closer against his brother, and they continued hiding under the table cloth of the funeral buffet. They were just little kids after all, and this was an awful lot of attention and drama for one day. 

Age Seventeen

They were sitting outside in the front yard of Aunt Vestele and Uncle Cyran’s beautiful two story home. Their backs were pressed against each other. Taako was drawing with sticks in the dry dirt, and she was playing with a loose thread on the end of her pants. 

“Taako?” There was a soft scratching sound coming from behind her. 

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” She asked, even though she already knew. 

“Drawin’ shit with a stick. You?”

“Thinkin’.....”

“Well quit it. You’re thinkin’ too loud.” 

“I’m thinkin’ about important shit, though.” The scratching paused. 

“Like what?” She swallowed thickly, letting out a huff. 

“Just shit.” 

“Tell me, asshole.” The scratched started up more violently this time. 

“No!” She snapped, feeling her face heat up in frustration. She tucked her knees up and hunched over them, crossing her arms tightly. “Shut up, Taako.” 

He huffed. “Whatever, bro.” She saw red for a split second. She  _ hated _ that. 

“Okay.” What was she  _ thinking _ ? He needed to know. She had to tell him. She needed to tell him. She might die if she didn’t tell him. 

“Taako- I’m a girl. Like, I’m your sister, not your brother, actually.” She held her breath. 

The scratching paused for a weighted moment, and then continued. “Okay. So I’d say, ‘whatever, sis’ instead?” 

She barked out a laugh despite the tears pricking at her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s it bro-bro.” 

Taako whipped around and smacked the side of her head with his muddy stick, and she leapt back to attack him. 

  
  


Age Nineteen

Taako bit back a curse, ducking underneath the wagon’s tarp, eyes immediately adjusting to the darkness. He could hear his (still nameless, they were working on it) sister outside, doing an excellent job of distracting the merchants. He just needed, like, three minutes to grab a bunch of shit and then they could bolt. 

What did Sister ( _ They Were Working On It _ ) say he needed to grab? Food, gold, new clothes (“Girly clothes this time, Koko. I’m sick of boy clothes.”), and something else…...uh..

He scanned the wagon, opening up his worn sack and grabbing a rope bag of fruit and bread, dumping that all in. It was already very heavy, and his weak, kid arms could not hold it especially well. Whatever, that was a problem for future Taako and Sister, who would be warm and full tonight if he was successful in his thievery right now. 

“WAIT A SECOND! I wanted to ask you guys something, it should only take A MINUTE, SURELY YOU HAVE TIME FOR THAT?” Grumbling followed Sister’s outburst from outside, and Taako swore again. He moved like a silent storm through the wagon, grabbing as much as he could, even if he had virtually no clue what something was. 

Anything was better than nothing. 

He skidded out of the wagon just in the nick of time, darting into the forest nearby. His hair, as close cropped as it was to his head, still managed to snag on some twigs. Taako huffed, ripping them off the bush. Sister appeared a moment later, panting and gasping fearfully. She clutched his wrist and without slowing her pace, dragged him behind her. They ran on the outskirts of the forest, feet scrambling down the line of dirt road and dirt grass. Sister had their only shoes at the moment, and Taako’s feet were filthy and cut up. They ached. He was cold. 

“Why are we running?”

“Shit!” Sister gasped in response. They didn’t stop running. 

Age Twenty Three, Exactly

“Alright, what’ve we got?” Lup asked, settling her butt onto the cobblestone of the city square. Taako sat across from her, a smug look on his babyish face. Lup was currently winning their More Attractive Identical Twin Competition, because she still had a smooth, clear face and Taako’s was covered in acne. 

“We’ve got the fuckin’  _ goods _ , sister of mine. Cha’boy Taako has swindled us a feast of majestic proportions.” He dropped onto his own butt across from her, brandishing the handsome, canvas duffle sack that had cost Lup a pretty penny last candlenights. She didn’t mind, though; Taako had given her her name for Candlenights, so as far as Lup was concerned, she never needed another gift in her life. 

Food for their birthday, though? And good food at that? Well, Lup wouldn’t be refusing it. 

“C’mon, Koko, you’re killin’ me here! What’d you get us?” 

“You really wanna know?” He smirked coyly, twirling a lock of his overgrown bangs out of his eyes. Lup rolled her own obnoxiously. 

“Yes, Fantasy  _ Jesus _ , we haven’t had a meal in four days, I’m fucking hungry, bro bro.”

“No need to fret, Lulu. We got fuckin’  _ bacon _ . Corn, apples, peaches, mushrooms, sausage, cheese.” He met her wide eyes with a thrilled expression. “When I say I’m providing, I’m fucking  _ providing _ .” 

“God, Taako.” Her mouth watered. She made to snatch the bag away from him, but Taako kept it out of reach. Lup groaned, yanking at her long bangs. “You’re my favorite brother, I love you, yadah yadah, can we eat?” 

“Hella.” 

Between both of their skinny and precise fingers, the rope knotting the top of their pack came undone easily, exposing a myriad of the best smelling food Lup had ever smelled in her life. 

She picked up one of the apples, bringing it to her lips and taking a slow, agonizing bite. Her stomach growled ferociously. It was sweet, and crisp, and tasted perfectly in season. 

“Oh God, Taako.” She moaned, eyes practically rolling back. “Where did you get this fucking apple?” 

He shrugged, his lips smacking on a cut of juicy looking bacon. Lup felt like crying. 

From across the town square, Mr. Bing Bong starts doing his stupid clown dance. Taako grins at her, and cups his hands around his mouth. 

“Hey stupid ass! You suck!” Mr. Bing Bong frowned, and slunk away. Some of the village children threw their rocks and cheese at him. 

“Booo! Idiot!” Lup shouted, laughing. Taako broke into a fit of giggles. Lup and Taako, at it again. 

This was a fucking perfect birthday. 

Age Twenty Six 

“Hey, Lup.”

“Hm?” Taako’s fingers fidgeted with the pages of a thick spellbook on evocation. 

“I like guys.” Her back tensed from where it was pressed up against his own, causing him to fill with even more tension than was already present. “Like, uh, male men. Males who are men. Guys who are man. Are men. Uh,”

“Koko, shut the fuck up.” His mouth slammed shut. “Were you actually nervous about telling me?”

He shrugged. “I dunno.” 

“Alright.” Lup shrugged, then scootted her back even closer to his, straightening up so that he could as well and the backs of their heads could touch. Their hair was longer now. Lup had been growing hers out, so Taako did too, but then Taako got bored and shaved off half of it on one side, so Lup did too. They hated not perfectly matching these days. 

“Alright.” 

“How’s your book?” Taako looked back down at the evocation book. It had nearly slid off of where it was balanced on one of his knees. 

“Eh. Not sure evocation is my thing.” Lup hummed, then reached back and held out her hand. He put the book in her grasp and a moment later she was holding out an equally thick different book. He took it, examining the cover. Enchantment. That could be interesting. 

“How long do you wanna stay here?” Here not meaning the library they were sat out in the courtyard, surrounded by as many spellbooks as they could fit in their scratched and bruised tan arms. Here actually meant the city. They didn’t stay in one place for long. 

Taako shrugged. “However long it takes. 

“Alright.” 

An hour later they had returned most of the books, but they had checked out enough stacks of evocation books for Lup that both twins had to carry tall towers of the stuff. 

Age Thirty

Lup hated fighting with Taako, but he was just being ridiculous right now. 

“We’re not going back to Aunt Seransie.” Lup said, in order to break the silence. 

Taako huffed from the otherside of the motel room. They had one bed, but her stupidly stubborn brother had preferred to sleep on the ground instead of next to her. 

“Taako, come on. You hated her, I don’t get it.”

“I know I fucking hated her, Lup, but you know what I also hate? Being broke.”

“We can work!” 

Taako groaned. Lup patted the space on the bed next to her. A moment later, Taako crawled onto the bed, curling in on his side and staring blankly at the sheets. Lup mirrored him, reaching a hand out to play with his hair. It was shorter than her own hair, but Lup had been considering chopping it again to match. 

“I’m scared, Lulu. She seemed really angry, she probably wouldn’t even let us come back.”

“Brobro…” Lup sighed, twirling his hair around her fingers. “We’re gonna be okay. We don’t need those assholes. All we need is each other, and we’re gonna be amazing.”

He met her eyes, the gold shining white in the dark moonlight, making them glitter with unshed tears. 

“What if we’re not?”

“We will be. Let’s go to the library tomorrow and try and learn some new spells. Maybe we can get an apprenticeship somewhere?” 

“Alright.” 

“Come on, let’s sleep.” 

Age Thirty Four

“I’ve got it!” Lup cried from the backyard. It was tiny, barely even a yard so much as it was a tiny gated off plot of dirt and grass. Taako had been lounging in the living room, which wasn’t really a living room, since it was also where the twins slept and ate. 

Taako could have leaned out the tiny window from where he was sitting to continue the conversation, but instead jumped off the chair and bolted out the door to see Lup. 

“You’ve got it?” He gasped. Lup turned to him, eyes shining with excitement. 

“I did it. Just now, it worked! Here let me just,” she wiped her hands on her skirt, and leant back over her spellbook to read the entry it was open to: Burning Hands, a level one evocation spell. Evocation had become Lup’s primary focus over the years, while Taako was still experimenting with different schools of magic. 

Lup took a deep breath, shooting him a quick look before steadying herself. She leaned over the iron barred fence, sticking her hands out all the way into the alleyway behind their home. She touched her thumbs together, palms facing out and fingers splayed. A thin, wavering gleam of white light shimmered across her hands dimly, and then burst out all at once, an explosion of white flames. 

Taako was hugging her before she’d even finished casting. “Lulu!!! You did it!!!”

“After four fucking months of practice!” She cheered back, hugging him tightly. Her hands burned against his shoulders. 

“We really need to get you a focus.” Taako said, pulling away. “Not sure if we can afford it, but you need one.”

“You need one too.” Lup pointed out, crossing her arms and sticking out her bottom lip. Her blonde hair had been shaved off completely, a thin fuzz of blonde covering the warm golden brown of her skin. She had been very upset after a miscast of Burning Hands set her hair ablaze, but she was absolutely killing the look now. Taako’s hung just below his shoulder blades. 

“I haven’t even picked a school of magic yet.”

“You’ll get one.” She said, sounding more sure of herself than Taako felt. 

“If you say so,” he shrugged. “Still, yours is first priority.”

“Whatevs. You’ll find a school you like. Let’s go to the library after breakfast tomorrow and I’ll help you look through some books so we can find the one you’re interested in!”

“I’m interested in all of them, though.” Taako replied, mood dimming a little. “It’s just, none of them really stand out to me.”

“Maybe it’s just cause the cantrips and early level spells are boring? Let’s look at high level spells and see which ones are the coolest!”

A smile tugged at his lips. “Alright, sis.” 

Age Forty

“Shit, Taako, what the hell was that?” Lup gasped, sticking her head out of the second story window. Their current house in Brackensaw was tiny, like two small carts stacked on top of each other— but it was closer to a well known evocation wizard, and Lup had been visiting the woman quite a lot for help on her level three spells. 

“That, sister of mine, was Pyrotechnics.” Taako grinned toothily, skin flushed and glowing luminously in the display of bursting color and light from the air above him. The light changed in that moment into thick clouds of black smoke, and it spilled around Lup like ink, obscuring her very brief view of her brother. 

“What the hell’d you do?!” Lup cried, rubbing at her eyes. The smoke was practically water vapor, but it made her eyes tingle all the same. 

“Lup! That was a second level spell!” She blinked, but everything was still dark and cloudy and blocking her sight. 

“Seriously? Taako, I can’t fucking see.”

“It worked! Holy shit! It’s supposed to do that, oh my god, Lup!” Taako sounded downright  _ giddy _ , and Lup was trying to be happy for him, but she still just couldn’t fucking see. 

“That’s awesome brobro, how long is this gonna last?”

“Uhhh,” the sound of ruffling pages, then, “About a minute? Unless there’s strong wind, uh,” Taako quickly cast Gust, and the smoke blew out of their yard, and Lup rubbed at her eyes again, glad to see the twin suns burning in the sky and her twin brother beaming with excitement. He was bubbling over. “Lup, I did that.”

She grinned, “Feather Fall me, I wanna come give you a hug!” He laughed, stretching out his gnarled wand and casting the spell. Lup jumped out of the window, floating down to his level where she wrapped him up in a hug, feet still gently drooping to the baked dirt ground of their porch. He was looking considerably more tired by this point, so Lup made the executive decision to not let him practice anymore spells that day. 

“Bro.” He pulled back to look at her. “I’m so proud of you.” Taako snorted, shoving her away. “Seriously! Koko, this is so cool, I’m so happy you found transmutation and it makes me so happy to see you getting better and better at it.”

“Whatever, stupid.” Taako laughed, linking their arms and picking up his spellbook as they trudged back inside. “What are we makin’ for lunch?” 

“I dunno.” Lup opened up their cupboard, still keeping glued to his side. “Soup? We’ve got some good spices from Lezezeton, ‘member?” 

“Ooh, hell yeah,  _ lindo _ , we makin’ some badass soup.” 

“What language is that?” Lup asked, pulling her arm away but keeping her right hip pressed to his as she began pulling spices out and placing them on the counter. 

“Uhh,” Taako paused, pulling some chicken from the icebox and taking a large knife out to begin cutting it apart. “I think it’s, uh, glacial draconic?” He tore off bits of meat, slicing off large chunks. “Yeah, it’s glacial, uh it was in the second hand transmutation book I bought a few weeks, uh, it had it written in as notes on the sides, so I started teaching myself incase it had any extra tricks.” 

Lup stopped, her hands stuttering on the chime peppers she was slicing, looking at her brother almost incredulous. “Taako.”

“Yeah?”

“Taako, look at me.” He looked up from the chicken, meeting her eyes as if confused to what she was thinking. Lup stared at him hard. 

“Taako, you are so fucking smart.” He laughed, face coloring a fiery red in his cheeks, the tips of his ears flushing as they quirked up from around his messy twin braids. 

“Lulu, come on. That is so sappy.”

“I’m serious. You’re so smart, and it drives me crazy when you undersell yourself, you know?”

“I don’t undersell myself,” he muttered, dropping his head back down to the chicken. “I’m the most talented bitch this world’s ever seen. Second to you.”

“Whatever,” Lup rolled her eyes. “You’re smart as shit, and I’m gonna make you believe it one of these days.”

Age Fifty Seven

“Hey, d’ya hear about that new research building they’re opening?” Taako asked absently, copying the libraries list of level four spells in his journal. This was his fifth one, and it was brand new. A fresh start, a fresh level. 

“Nah.” Lup said, her back pressed against his. The shade from the oak tree splattered patches of sun and shadow over the twins and their spell books. Lup had a small flame balancing on her palm that she was twirling around like smoke. “What’s it for?” 

“I dunno yet, I just heard they’re opening one in Newport. I think it’s in the early stages of construction right now.” 

“Weird,” Lup replied. She leaned back against him, and Taako back against her, their combined body weights keeping the other propped up in unison as easy as if they were sitting against a wall. 

“Yeah,” Taako hummed. Control Winds was next, and he set his charcoal down on the page, stretching out his cramping wrist. “Hey, do you wanna go to like an official class for magic? I think they’re opening up like a community center an hour away that specializes in that shit.”

“Sure.” Lup shrugged. She tilted her head back into the curve of his neck. 

Age Sixty Two And One Month

“Remember, your experiment analysis essay is due at the start of next class. The midterm is in two weeks, so keep studying.” 

Lup rolled her eyes, drumming her fingers on her desk, eyeing the clock. The drow to the left of her was jiggling his leg, and she wanted to tell him to cut it out, but she didn’t remember his name. 

“Alright, I’ll pass out your homework for the night, that will also be due next class.” Lup groaned, sliding lower into her seat. His bouncing leg had started shaking the table itself, and Lup’s eye twitched. 

The dwarf professor moved at a snail's pace, all slow and leisurely movement. How he was an expert on evocation and heat and necrotic spells was beyond her. The papers made it to her row, and she took the stack from the drow, taking one and passing it on. She bit at her nails, scanning the packet. She knew her and Taako’s schools of magic were incredibly different, but she couldn’t help but be jealous of his light homework load. Sure, the amount of alchemy and chemical properties he had to learn and memorize in their second year of classes was  _ insane _ , but in their third year Taako was breezing through the tests and experiments his transmutation major demanded. 

She shrugged on her pack, and wandered aimlessly out of the lecture hall and into the courtyard of the campus. Taako was working a shift at the bar, so Lup had the afternoon to herself. That wasn’t that uncommon lately, both of them spending time either at work, at school, or at the library studying. Needless to say, she and her brother had both become boring adults, and they were still in their early sixties, which was practically juvenile for elves. 

She settles for a fantasy coffee shop, tucking her pack into the corner while she waits in line to order a drink. At the front of the line, a dwarf is arguing loudly with the barista. 

“Don’t you serve Pan-friendly coffee here?”

“No, sir. We don’t. Sorry.” The human looks exhausted. Lup feels a twinge of sympathy. 

The dwarf huffs. “That’s pretty Pan-ist of you, if you ask me. I might just have to never eat here again.” 

Lup rolls her eyes. “I don’t think anyone’d miss you, old man.” The dwarf whirls around. He has graying brown hair and a huge-ass beard, as well a thin spectacles. Lup’s pretty sure there are flowers braided into his hair. 

“Old man?!” He explodes. “I’m in my glowing youth!”

“Sure. How long ago was that?” 

He huffs again. Grumpy dwarf. “I fuckin’ hate teenagers.” Lup holds an L to her forehead and sticks out her tongue. 

“Whatever, grandpa.” 

Age Seventy Seven

Taako ran his fingers through his hair. It was tangled and messy, and the black he’d dyed it spontaneously a month ago had faded out almost fully. His hair felt crackly and dry. Whatever. 

He transmuted a quick snack, and huddled deeper under the awning of the building, rain trickling down just a few inches away as he ate away at a veggie burrito. This sucked. The weight of his stone of farspeech was heavy in his coat pocket, and the urge to call Lup rushed back into him just as strong as if the last time he’d seen her was only a few days ago. 

It’d been over a month. 

She was never going to talk to him again. 

Taako knew their fight had been completely his fault, but really, he didn’t think that he should be blamed this much. Taako didn’t think he deserved to be kicked out, for fantasy gods sake.

Whatever. He didn’t need Lup, anyway. He had himself. And…..and…..

Taako shivered as a mist of the icy rain touched his skin, hunched his shoulders up and finished off the burrito, wiping off his hands and then rubbing them together. 

He was cold. 

He missed Lup. If she were here, she could create a fire easy as shit. 

A moment later, he held the stone of farspeech in his hand, Lup’s line crackling to life. 

_ “Taako?” _

His voice broke. “Hey, Lulu.”

_ “Where are you?” _

“Awningville.”

_ “Really trying to put distance between us, huh?” _

He sniffled, shivering again. “I’m sorry, Lup. I’m sorry I was being an idiot. I’m sorry I made you lose your job and I’m sorry that I wouldn’t take responsibility for it. I’m an asshole.”

_ “You’re not an asshole.”  _ She sighed.  _ “Besides, it was kinda good, I guess? I’m teaching some classes at the community center now, and I like it way better than fuckass pizza delivery.” _

“Did you replace your dingbat evo prof?”

_ “Natch,” _ she laughed. Taako missed her laugh. 

“I’m sorry.”

_ “I know, Koko. I’m not mad anymore. I forgive you.” _ Her voice was sincere, because of course it was, Lup never lied to him. It eased the ache in his heart, just a bit. They were still TaakoandLup. 

“Can I come back?”

_ “I never even meant it when I told you to leave.” _

Age Eighty

Lup cracked her neck, easing down into her chair after a meeting with the city council. They’d been debating whether or not to close down the community center. Lup opted to keep it. Lup won the most votes. 

It was a good gig, it really was, but Lup couldn’t help but feel as though she was missing something. Some sort of extra thrill, excitement. She knew Taako was taking more university classes, this time focusing less on only transmutation, taking time to hone in on other arcane skills. Lup was still just working on evocation. She wanted to become a certified world expert in it, and damn it if she wasn’t gonna work her ass off until she was. 

Maybe she should try and learn a new skill, too. Multi class, maybe? She shook her head slightly, sighing and drooping back down to examine the test scores her class had turned in earlier. She shouldn’t multi-class. She wanted to be an expert evocation wizard, and if she wanted that then she needed to focus all of her time and energy onto it. 

She lifted the stack of papers, dropping them into her pack and shouldering that, draping her cloak on over. A quick glance out the window showed that it was still snowing a bit despite having been snowing all morning too, which got a small smile out of her; Taako despised the cold, he was probably hating this. Nimble and well practiced fingers twisted her waist length hair into a long and simple braid, flipping it back over her shoulder and tugging on a warm hat that Taako had knitted her. Lup picked up her wand, tucking that into the inside pocket of her cloak. She was headed for the apartment, fortunately only a ten minute walk away. 

Inside, she chucked off her snow coated boots and dumped the rest of her dampened things on the floor. The apartment was toasty, and the smell of thick spices and meat cooking bombarded her nose. 

“Koko?” She called, trailing her fingers against the hall and coming into the living room. 

“In here,” he said from the kitchen, and Lup followed his voice inside. “How was the meeting?”

“Good. Still open, natch,” she replied, lacing up an apron over her skirt and blouse, inserting herself into his cooking. “What can I-“

“Over in the oven,” he handed her a baster, and Lup nodded. 

“Chicken?”

“Lamb.”

“What’s the occasion?” Lup asked with a laugh, as if it wasn’t the first day of Candlenights. 

“Nothin’ special.” He smiled. “Oh, but also, I, uh, got a promotion.”

“Seriously?” Lup cried, bursting up from the oven and hugging him from behind. The baster dripped a glob of grease onto the counter, and he smudged it off with a finger, licking it off. 

“More salt, then mix.” He said. “And yeah, it was pretty unexpected. Harriet just said I was doing really well, and wanted me to start overseeing everything at the restaurant. Pretty sick. Gonna pay more too.” He wriggled out of her hug, took the salt shaker from the counter and tossed it to her. 

“That’s fuckin’ awesome, babe.” Lup caught it, crouching back over the oven and sprinkling it lightly over the grease, rebasting afterwards. Next, she took the whisk from the pocket of Taako’s apron, spinning around to where the mixing bowl was placed on the island. Just dry, she noted, sifting the powders around and blending them into a light beige. “Want me to-?”

“Yeah, I have them all out on the-”

“I see them, yeah. Can I add-?”

“Mhm, by the carrots.”

“Got it, and should I-?”

“Peel ‘em, I’m doin’ dough.”

“Cool.” 

They worked in sync, never needing to say more than a few words in order for the other to understand. That was just how LupandTaako worked. Dinner that night was wonderful. The knowledge that their meals all week would be their only gifts to each other lingered in each of their minds, despite having never discussed it. They didn’t need to, though. Money was tight, as per usual, and this much food every night would be taking out a solid chunk of it. But Lup didn’t mind; she and Taako were both mega foodies, and could talk about cooking for the rest of their lives and never really get bored of it. For them, this was a pretty fucking good gift. 

Age Eighty Four

“Wanna take a class with me?” Taako asked over lunch. He’d been thinking about it a lot lately, expanding his horizons from just the arcane. 

“What kind?” Lup asked, tilting back in her seat and slurping up her berry smoothie. Taako had been subtly adjusting the menu at Harriet’s ever since he started managing it, and it was, needless to say, better than ever. 

“Dunno. Maybe philosophy? Or calculus?”

“Nerd.” She snorted. “Only nerds like math.”

“I like math, but I’m not a fucking nerd. I’m so cool.”

“Nerd nerd nerd nerd.” Lup chants, banging her fist on the table. Taako picked up his napkin and hurled it at her. “I don’t wanna take any of those anyway.”

“But they’re so interesting.”

“You take one then. Don’t let me stop you, babe.”

“Fine.” 

Age Eighty Five

“You know IPRE?”

“That snobby research building in Newport?” Taako snorted, “Nope, never heard of it.”

Lup rolled her eyes. “Okay, ass. I was gonna say, I’m thinking about getting an internship there.”

“Really? What do you care about, uhh,” He played with the frayed tip of the duvet they were curled underneath. “Inter planar research?”

Lup shrugged. “I dunno. Sounds interesting, plus it pays super well. And obviously we’re both smart enough to work there.”

Taako smirked. “Oh, both of us, then?”

“Well, yeah. You always say you don’t wanna work for anyone but yourself when you cook, and you’re gonna get stuck working for Harriet, I just know it. Bitch won’t let you leave if you stay for much longer.” 

“Fuck Harriet.” Taako said automatically. 

“Fuck Harriet!” Lup nodded, mindlessly repeating the phrase they’d coined after Harriet lost her shit on Taako for adjusting the menu and bringing in more customers. Fuck Harriet, man. “Also, I know you wouldn’t want me to go off to Newport alone. You would die here by yourself.” She laughed, then cut off abruptly as Taako’s expression grew a bit darker. Lup’s lips turned downward in worry.

“You’re right.” He said softly. 

“To both things?” He wouldn’t want her to leave, obviously. He would die here by himself. Lup swallowed thickly. That was supposed to just be a joke. They both subconsciously knew that it wasn’t. 

“Yeah.” 

Lup curled into his side, stretching her arms over his middle, smushing them together. Twin smushes were cathartic. They became TaakoandLup, LupandTaako. “Neither would I, to be fair.”

“No,” he shook his head minutely. “I’m ridiculously co dependent, besides, you’re way stronger than me. You’d be okay.”

“I might be okay, but I’d be missing my heart. I can’t live without my heart. You’re what keeps me going, Brobro.” That got a little smile from him, and Lup felt the tension begin to leave her shoulders. It cracked her soul into bits whenever he felt like this. She just wanted to take away all his insecurities and pain, even if it meant bearing them all herself. Lup supposes that’s what it’s like when you love someone more than you love yourself. 

“Sappy,” he mumbled, sinking into her arms. They fit like puzzle pieces, two whole hearts that mesh together and create an even stronger one, one even more capable of love. They’d talked before about the concept of soulmates. Taako was studying philosophy at the moment, and he’d been stuck on the lore of ‘split-aparts’. He told Lup offhandedly that, if that myth were real, he would be absolutely certain that they themselves would have been split-aparts. 

Lup had never mentioned how often she thought about that, and how every single time it never failed to warm her up from the inside out. 

Age Ninety Two

“Guess what I overheard Dr. Calliope saying today.” Taako said the instant he burst into their apartment. Lup was reading on the couch, ears perking up at his words. 

“What?”

“So you know the Light of Creation?”

“Isn’t that the weird shit the science department has been studying?” He nodded. 

“Yeah! They’re apparently starting plans for some sort of inter-planar space mission, and the light is gonna be a huge ass part of it.”

“Woah, really?”

“Yeah,” He hopped over the couch, weight crushing Lup’s legs. She smacked him with the book, but he didn’t move, so she yanked at his long hair instead, hoping for a reaction. “Cut that out, Lulu.” He snapped, pinching her leg. “Anyway, it’s like super early in plan and from what I heard, it’s a long ways off, but isn’t that so cool?” He felt excitement bubble up again just remembering. “I wanna go to space.”

“Have they picked a crew yet?”

“No, too early I think. Why?”

Lup sat up. “Let’s see if we can get on the crew.”

Taako’s heart skipped a beat. “You want to go to space?”

“Why not?”

Taako didn’t have a good answer for that. 

Age Ninety Nine

IPRE made their official announcement at eight AM that morning. Taako and Lup had watched starry eyed as IPRE’s CEO stood on a stage in the conference hall, resting his hands on the podium and speaking gruffly into the mic. If Lup hadn’t already decided to apply for this mission years ago, she would have been convinced after that speech. 

It was incredible. Lot’s of talk about the light, it’s power, and bond energy, which was something that Lup didn’t quite understand. Despite having got a perfect score on IPRE’s entrance exam (along with Taako) nearly ten years ago, bond energy just wasn’t her department. Sure, she found it fascinating that two people’s personal relationship could power an entire ship. Anyone would think that was cool as hell. Lup just didn’t know very much. Neither did Taako, though. Both were a part of the arcane study wing of IPRE. Bond energy was the science and mechanics business. 

Still, she and Taako couldn’t stop babbling about it to each other the entire walk out of the hall, and they definitely weren’t the only ones. Everyone was buzzing. The mission wasn’t due to begin serious preparations for another five years while IPRE’s space travel department kept working on technicalities, but Lup knew she and Taako would have their work cut out for them if they wanted to get noticed enough to have a shot at getting accepted. 

Taako grabbed her wrist, leading her to Dr. Haglia Popperri. She was speaking with IPRE’s CEO, a Dr. Ernest Dentaria. The twins waited patiently on the outskirts of the conversation, Taako’s fingers practically vibrating against her skin. Dr. Popperri was the leading organizer of the Bond Mission. Alongside the two of them, Lup noticed a small gnome man, with a bright orange mustache and goatee. She poked Taako’s side, snickering a little behind her hand. That hair color...it was majestic.

“Can I help you?” Dr. Popperri asked, noticing the two elves orbiting her conversation. 

“Yes!” Taako said, retracting his hand from around Lup, and holding it out to shake. Lup followed his lead, smiling personably. “My name is Taako, and this is my sister, Lup. We’re in the arcane studies department, and have been sooooo interested in this project ever since we first heard about it.”

“Mhm!” Lup said, nodding her head emphatically. “It’s so incredible, the work you’ve done with the Light of Creation, and how the bond engine works and all the planar research you’ve already achieved, Dr. Popperri.” Dr. Popperri smiled widely. She was a younger human, clearly some kind of genius what with all she’d achieved so far. She was also pretty cute...long light brown hair...nice smile...bright blue eyes...Lup wondered if it would hurt her chances of getting accepted if she asked Dr. Popperri out…

Taako smacked her arm, giving her a very uncomfortable smile. “Lulu-”

She smacked him back, giving him a Don’t You Dare look. 

“Lup,” he backtracks, “Dr. Popperri asked what school of magic you’re in.”

“Oh!” Lup’s face got hot. “Um, evocation.” 

“Fascinating,” Dr. Popperri smiled warmly. “I’ve always loved evocation. It’s users are always such beautiful people.” Lup’s face got  _ very _ hot. 

“Aha, yeah well. Yeah, I do lots of fire evocation, so I guess you could say I’m  _ some _ kind of beautiful…” 

Taako was looking at her incredulous. Dr. Popperri looked confused. 

“Like. Get it? Like hot?” Lup wrung her hands together, letting out a trill of nervous laughter. “Okay! Who’s that?”

Dr. Popperri snapped out of her confusion. “Oh, of course, how could I forget! This is Captain Davenport.” The gnome smiled up at Lup. “Since I won’t be going on the actual bond ship, Davenport will be leading it from the inside. He’s been a huge help during my research for this project.” 

“Wow,” Taako said. 

“That’s so cool!” Lup said.

A crowd had started forming around them, and Dr. Popperri excused herself. Lup and Taako left shortly after that. As soon as they were out of view and bursting out into the bustling quad, Taako pinched her arm. 

“Lulu, what the fuck? Were you hitting on her?”

“Not on purpose!” Lup spluttered. “She was so pretty! She made me nervous.” 

“God, Lup…” He groaned, running a tired hand down his face. “Please don’t date the woman who’s gonna be deciding whether or not we get to go on that fucking ship.” 

“No promises.” Lup grinned. 

Age One Hundred Two and Three Hundred Sixty Four Days

Taako didn’t wait for the ‘come in’ before twisting the doorknob and slamming the door behind him as he collapsed onto the sofa. 

“Dr. Regan, when will applications for the Starblaster Mission be released?” 

The elf pinched his caterpillar sized eyebrows. “Taako, you realize you’ve asked me this every single day for the past month, correct?”

Taako‘s right leg started bouncing, and he balanced it under his left to still it. 

“I’m just very eager, sir. My sister, Lup, and I are very excited for the mission and we’d love to know when we can start filling the applications out.”

Dr. Regan, rested his elbows on his desk, running fingers through his thick, dark hair. “My answer is the same as it was yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that: I don’t know. That information has yet to be released, IPRE wants to keep this mission’s progress as underraps as much as possible. I promise, you and Lup will be the first to know as soon as I find out.”

“Thank you, sir. Oh, and by the way, when did you want my thesis on arcane forces being used to solve poverty finished by?”

Dr. Regan sighed, reshuffling the papers on his desk. “End of the year, at the latest. Presentations are in January, and I’d like time to review it and work with you on it.”

“Hella.” Taako gave him two thumbs up. “Well, I’m clockin’ out for the day. Tomorrow’s Lup and I’s birthday, and I need to finish her present.”

Dr. Regan looked up, the lines under his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Happy birthday, Taako. Tell your sister for me, as well.”

“Will do. You got our notices for the day off, correct?”

“Yes. I hope you two have a nice day.”

“Thanks, sir! See ya later.” Taako sprung up, darting out the door and further down the arcane studies hall to where his office suite was. Lup was in her office, crouched over a massive star chart spread out on the floor. He pulled open the door, and she jolted up instantly. 

“Are they out yet?”

“No, and Regan’s getting sick of me asking.” Taako dropped onto Lup’s rolly chair. “He did wish us happy birthday, though.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. If he wasn’t in his, what, three hundreds? I’d tell you to go after him. He’s a cutie.”

“He’s married, Lulu. Beside, I don’t date coworkers. Can’t have any of my men know I’m a fuckin’ neh…ner…d- I can’t even say it.”

“A fuckin’ nerd?”

“Yeah, that.” 

She snorted. “Okay, Koko.” 

He twisted his fingers around in his lap. “I’m so anxious for them to be released.”

“I know, I am too. I just wanna get them in so we can start preparing for the mission.” He glanced at her, surprised to see how serious she looked. 

“You really think we’re gonna get accepted?”

She picked up a pen from the floor by her side, tracing a line from one star to another. 

“Of course I am. We’re some of the best arcanists in the program.”

“Yeah. How many do you think they’ll take?”

“Dunno. Probably a small crew?”

“Maybe. Probably.”

Age One Hundred Three

“Taako, please stop pacing. You’re stressing me out.”

“ _ I’m _ stressing  _ you  _ out? Lulu, I’m having a fucking crisis!”

“How many times have you practiced your presentation? Like, a million?”

“Well, uh, well,” he wrung his hands together, and then mussed his hair, and then straightened his shirt. “What if I forget what to say?”

“You have cue cards, Brobro.”

He covered his face with his hands and wailed. 

“You’re gonna do great. And I’ll be in the front row the whole time, so just look at me if you get nervous. Okay?”

He made a small noise of distress. 

“Come on,” she grunted, pulling his hands away. “Babe, you’re gonna smudge your eye makeup.” He shrieked, scrambling to the mirror and inspecting his face. 

“Lup, I look terrible. Like, I’m literally so ugly, they’re gonna laugh me off the stage.”

“Am I ugly?”

“That’s a trick question and it’s not gonna cure my dysmorphia. Besides, we all know you’re the prettier twin.”

“Shut up.” She pushed him. “You look hot and you’re gonna go out there and wow everyone with your stupidly nerdy genius ass ideas. Okay?”

“Okay.” He said meekly. 

“I gotta get to my seat, but you’re gonna do amazing!” Lup hugs him quickly and darts down the hall from the dressing rooms, and sprints into the conference hall. The front row is full, aside from one seat to the left, with it’s reserved sign still intact.

She sits down. She knows Taako’s presentation word for word, cue for cue, block for block. He’s gonna ace it, and Lup believes that with absolute certainty. 

Age One Hundred Four

“Oh god, Taako. I’m not gonna get accepted.”

“Lup, please shut up.” Taako groaned, not bothering to look up from his salad. He’d recently decided to go vegetarian, which meant no more expensive and delicious meat. Veggies were pretty good, though. It wasn’t that big a deal. 

“Taaaaaaaako, I’m just not gonna.” She pouted. 

“You’re a fucking expert on evocation. Your application was bomb as fuck. You’re gonna get accepted.” 

“But what if I don’t?”

“You will.”

“How do you know?”

“Twin sense.”

Lup wailed. “This is the worst day of my life. What time are we supposed to find out?”

“The latest is midnight.” 

“I can’t wait that long.”

“Take a nap then.” 

“I can’t  _ sleep _ !!” She choked out, scandalized. “I’m way too nervous. How are you not nervous?”

“Cause I’m a fuckin’ shoe in. Everyone knows it.”

She drops her head against the counter. 

“I hate this waiting.” 

“I know, Lulu.” 

“This is a nightmare.” 

“I know, Lulu.”

She moaned, spinning her barstool away from the counter and collapsing onto their couch. Their shared IPRE apartment was compact and organized, while still having the feeling of being spacious. 

Taako raised his eyes up to her for a moment, before flicking them back down to his salad. He cranked some pepper over the dressing, and carried it into the living room. He sat down on one of their cushions set by the open window. It was low enough to the floor that he could prop his salad on the ledge, eating and feeling the cool breeze from high blowing over his skin, soothing his headache. 

A knock sounded on the door, and then the thump of thick packets dumping onto the floor from their mail slot. Taako smiled. Lup screamed, and he heard her leaping over the couch and tripping over herself to the packets. 

“Open it! Open it, I can’t look!” She shrieked, throwing them to Taako. 

“Fine, fine!” He picked up one. It was marked with the words ‘Loop, Taako’, the other read ‘Tacco, Lup’. They didn’t have last names, so this was their solution. “Mine or yours first?”

“I don’t care!” She whimpered, covering her eyes. Taako started tearing the corner off his, when Lup yelped and snatched it from him. “We’ll open each others, okay? That way if one of us doesn’t make it, we won’t have to see it for ourselves, okay?”

“Sure,” Taako said. He knew what she really meant, though. They both knew Taako would get it, after the wild success of his thesis presentation, there wasn’t a doubt in any IPRE workers mind that he’d be taking a spot. Taako knew she’d make it too, but she clearly didn’t believe it. 

“Okay. Count of three?”

“Yeah. One,”

“Two,”

“Three!” Taako tore the top off of Lup’s envelope as she did the same to his. He scanned the first paragraph, eyes immediately catching on the word  _ ‘CONGRATULATIONS!’ _ . He grinned. 

“YOU GOT IN!” Lup shrieked, flinging the packet away to pounce him with a hug. 

“SO DID YOU!” Taako screamed back, discarding his as well to hug her. They were both definitely crying- no, sobbing, this was a disgusting, blubbery  _ mess _ . They held each other, Taako’s fingers nestling into the light fabric of her blouse. 

“I’m so fucking happy,” She bawled, her tears soaking his shoulder. His were doing the same. 

“I am too. Fuck,” he wanted to wipe his nose, but damnit if he was gonna let go of Lup. They were never letting go. 

Age One Hundred Five

“I-hate-  _ gasp _ -this, so much.” Taako wheezed, bending over and clutching his knees. 

“Come on, Taako! This is easy!” Magnus Burnsides, Head of Security for the IPRE Mission, called from the middle of the gym. Taako glared viciously at him. He was on his third lap around the perimeter of the gym. It was the only thing he would do during training. 

“Shut the fuck up. I’m a fucking wizard, not a goddamn fighter.” 

“Language,” Davenport said robotically from the weights. He was surprisingly strong for such a little guy. 

Lup snickered, covering her mouth with her hand, and leaning next to Lucretia, Chronicler for the IPRE Mission’s, ear. “Taako hates exercise. In case you hadn’t released.” 

A tiny smile inches onto Lucretia’s face. She didn’t say anything back, but Lup still considered that a success. 

A year's worth of training was required before they could begin their two month tour before the exact date of the mission. They had three months left, and Lup, Magnus, and Dav were the only ones to have made any physical improvements. Taako spent the entire time complaining as much as possible; Merle, Medic and Botanist for the IPRE Mission, had outright refused to participate, claiming that it was against his religion to exercise, that Pan wanted his followers “soft and in touch with nature”; Lucretia had tried, but her tiny frame seemed incapable of holding muscles, also she was fucking eighteen, and didn’t quite seem comfortable around anyone aside from Lup and Dav; Barry Bluejeans, Chief of Science on the IPRE Mission, didn’t really…well...the man was certainly  _ trying _ . 

Taako collapsed backwards onto the mat, spreading out his arms and legs and shutting his eyes. 

“Aw, Taako. You can do it!” Magnus cheered sympathetically. 

“Boo! You suck!” Lup shouted. Merle snorted from nearby. 

“Guys,” Magnus frowned. “He needs encouragement. I won’t be able to protect all of you all the time and so I gotta help you guys get all tough!”

“I don’t wanna be tough,” Taako groaned. “My aesthetic is lithe and nimble. I’m all dexterity, bud.”

“Your aesthetic is stupid.” Lup said, walking over to her brother’s corpse and kicking him. “Get up, dingus.” 

“Shut up, stupid.” 

“You first.” She reached down, grabbing his arm and yanking him up to his feet. “Let’s go again, I bet I can beat you.”

“Fine.” He grumbled. “One, two,” he broke into a sprint before finishing the countdown, and Lup took off after him. 

Age One Hundred Six

“I’m nervous.” Lup said quietly, grabbing onto Taako’s arm as they walked offstage of the press conference. “There’s so much that could go wrong tomorrow.” 

“I know.” He said softly, a similar worry gnawing at him as well. “We’ve got a dope ass crew though, we’ll be fine.”

“We fucking better,” she grumbled, still clutching his arm. He wrapped it around her waist, smushing them together, and she matched it. They tilted their heads together, stumbling down the hallway in their awkward four legged ambling pace. They’d be fine. They were LupandTaako. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle One

“Hey! TaakoandLup come here! Found another nest over here!” 

“Whatcha got, Barold?” Taako asked, looping his arm over the scientists shoulders. 

“Not sure,” he fixed his glasses, and Lup leaned her elbow on his other shoulder. Her and Taako were at least four inches taller than him. They locked eyes over his head, and Taako snickered. “It’s a deep hole though.”

“Sure.” Taako said, and branched off, crouching in front of the tunnel. “Should I crawl in?”

“You couldn’t possibly fit,” Lup laughed. 

“Imma try.” 

“Okay, dingus.” 

Barry shifted his arms over his chest. 

“What’s up, babe? You lookin’ nervous.”

Barry flushed, “No, I’m fine. I mean, I’m like, constantly nervous, but you know.” Lup laughed, breaking off from him and sitting on the dirt next to Taako, who was contemplating the hole. 

“Should I go head or leg first?”

“Legs, that way you can get out easier.” Lup suggested, but Barry shook his head. 

“He should go shoulders and head first, because if those can fit, then the rest of him can. Shoulders are the widest point on your body.”

“Smart.” Taako grinned, and stuck his entire head into the ground. Lup and Barry exchanged a look. Taako popped out a moment later. “Yeah, I’m not gonna fit.” He stood back up, dusting off his red jacket. “Whatevs. Let’s keep looking, it seemed empty.” 

“Alrighty, c’mon Barold.” Lup, grabbed his shoulders, dragging him behind Taako, who led the way. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Two

“This is so fucked up, oh  _ god _ , this is so fucked up.” Taako mumbled. His grip on Lup’s hand was like iron. Capn’port was steering them away from the Animal World with an expert skill, but Taako could only watch in numb terror as this beautiful and lush planet, and all its occupants, and  _ Magnus _ , were devoured by the black columns of tar, bursting with streams of light. 

“Oh god oh god,” Lup sobbed, dropping to her knees and pulling Taako down with her. “We can’t leave him, Dav! We have to go back.”

“We’ll fucking  _ die _ if we go back. We’re getting away from this.” 

“Fuck,” she broke down again, collapsing over Taako’s legs and shaking. Taako mindlessly began looping her long hair through his fingers. It was happening again. Just like it had to their old home, and it was happening again. They’d almost gotten the light back, and it probably just got destroyed again. 

Lucretia was crouched in the corner of the couch, shuddering while she cried quietly. Merle was clutching his spell focus, eyes jumping from person to person frantically. Barry wasn’t there. Taako was pretty sure he’d gone straight to his room. Magnus wasn’t there at all. 

The Starblaster began shaking, jumping and bumping. Dav swore under his breath, and then there was an explosion of light. It tore them apart thread by thread, and then put them back. Taako gasped, cold air filling his lungs like ice. He wasn’t sitting down anymore. 

Taako stood up, feet from the dome of the starblaster, Lup’s hand interlocked with his. They were staring out through the glass across the deck. There was a grunt from behind him, and Taako turned, and  _ Magnus _ . 

Magnus was there, touching his bruised eye and wincing. He looked up, locking eyes with Taako and choked. 

The entire crew was on him in an instant. Taako was not a touchy person, but excuses could be made mere minutes after leaving someone he maybe considered a friend for dead on a destroyed planet. 

“Fuck, Magnus,” Barry said, clutching at his shirt. They all stood there for several long moments, until Dav clapped his hands.

“We need to talk about this.” He announced, stepping lightly onto the coffee table. Taako glanced at the wheel, seeing the blue autopilot light blinking softly.

He and Lup smushed into the right corner of the couch. Lup leaned her elbow on the armrest, and Taako leaned against her, both twins folding their legs up to their chests. Lucretia sat next to him, Barry taking the seat next to her, and Magnus crushing into the other far side. Merle squeezed himself in between Taako and Lucretia. 

This was the exact same order they’d sat in a year ago, after their home world was shredded by blackness before their eyes. 

“Okay,” Dav said, mostly to himself. “So, this happened.” 

“Sure did.” Taako piped up, steeling himself with a deep breath. “Happened again.”

“Right.” Dav nodded. “Again. Same plan as the Animal World? Look around for the light, try and figure out what this place is like?” 

No one replied, which Dav took as a yes. 

“Alright. Let’s do this, folks.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Five

Lup folded up her legs against her chest. She leaned back against the beams splitting the glass dome into supported sections, the tiny ledge between the thick glass and several control panels being used as a seat for her. She peered out through the glass at this world. The deck didn’t stretch this far around the dome, so there was nothing obscuring her vision from looking straight down into the darkness. 

It felt like it was eating her. The universe looked nothing like the living blackness, but it still felt too similar. Devouring. 

She shuddered, looking away. The commons of the Starblaster was quiet. Dav was steering silently, stoic in his tenseness. Lucretia was laying across the couch, one of her journals occupying her attention as she filled in details about the Diamond World. Magnus and Merle were chatting in the kitchen. Taako and Barry had both disappeared down the hall to dorms not long ago, probably heading to their respective rooms. 

Lup sighed. Was this their life now? 

She slid off the ledge, peering around the commons. Three ornate masks from cycle three were piled on the floor next to the controls, and an intricately patterned blanket from cycle two was thrown over the side of the couch. The Diamond World hadn’t had any life on it, coated only in layers of gorgeous, glittering jewels. She and Taako had had a field day when they first arrived, snatching up as many as they could those first few weeks. She had a box full stored in her closet, and Taako had at least two more than her and the promise to learn how to weld metal and make jewelry at some point. 

The world had been absolutely beautiful and enchanting until Barry had been knocked off one of their makeshift paths and had been impaled by the crystals of rock lining every inch of the planet. His blood had painted the white quartz, splattering all around him. Lup had nearly thrown up. 

She and Taako had gotten rid of all their quartz after that (they still kept their other gems, though). 

Lup knew Barry would probably be having a crisis over his first death. He was the second of all of them to die. He had come back as quickly as Magnus had though, and after a quick hug they all felt mostly okay again. 

Lup wondered what it would feel like when she died for the first time. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Seven

Eggs sizzled on Taako’s frying pan. He hummed to himself, focused completely on cooking. He moved closer to the stove, loud and popping with the meat he was cooking for Magnus. For Magnus…

Magnus moaned, a pitiful whimper of agony from the otherside of the commons. 

Taako went closer to the stove, letting the pops and snaps of grease drown at his cries to the best of their abilities.

So far, Taako fucking hated this cycle. 

Barry was analyzing some texts he’s gotten from a friendlier tribe; Lup was listing whatever knowledge she’d collected from tribes about which ones might be more hostile than others; Lucretia was hiding behind the couch journalling, the immense number of blankets they’d received this year helping shield her; Dav was steering; Merle was healing Magnus; Taako was cooking. 

A spot of grease hit the open scratch on his neck, and he hissed in pain. 

He hated this fucking world. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twelve

“How long do you think we’ll last here with Magnus?” 

“Five minutes.”

“Probably.” 

“Taako, will you get me some water?”

“Get it yourself.” 

“My leg is still broken.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, I’ll get it. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I forget too sometimes, but the pain is pretty memorable.”

“Right. Um, here.”

“Thanks. Is Barold back yet? He told me he’d give me the weekly status update today.”

“I haven’t seen any of them come back yet. I’m gonna make myself a salad, you want anything?” 

“I’m okay, thanks.” 

“Okay.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Nineteen

“I hate this world, Lup.” 

“Yeah, I do too.” 

“Me three!” 

“Shut up, old man, you’re not a part of this conversation.”

“Remember this next time you almost die, asshole.”

“Oh come on, like you even know how to heal.”

“I know how to make you shut the hell up.” 

“Fuck off! I’m trying to talk to my stupid sister!” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty One

“This is really nice.” Barry said quietly. 

“Yeah,” Lup replied, relaxing her body into the towel. This was her favorite world so far. 

“I can’t remember the last time I was on a beach,” he commented. Lup propped herself up on her elbows, peering at him. 

“Really? Not even on our world?”

“No,” he shook his head, eyes downcast. 

“Damn, that sucks. Taako and I didn’t see too many beaches either, but there used to be some pictures our parents took of us as teeny tiny babies on some beach.” 

Barry chuckled. “That’s cute.” 

“Yeah,” she sighed, dropping her face back down into the towell. “What’s he doin’ out there? I don’t feel like checking.” 

“I dunno. I think he’s trying to stand on some wood?” 

“What?” Lup laughed, twisting around and shielding her eyes from the sun to find Taako. “God, he’s so stu-“

“MAGNUS!”

“FUCK!” Lup shouted, jolting practically out of her skin. “Fuck  _ off _ , Magnus, holy shit!”

“If I had been an enemy, you’d both be dead.” Magnus pointed out, dropping between their towels onto the hot sand. 

“Okay but that’s— that’s so, it’s so unnecessary, Magnus.” Barry managed, carding fingers through his brown hair. 

“Sucks to suck.” Magnus shrugged, hopping up and making his way towards a defenseless Dav, who was trying to sunbathe as well. 

“Fuck him,” Lup shook her head with a laugh, dropping back down. She draped her arm across her eyes. 

“Are you gonna sleep, or wanna keep talking?”

“Either. Suns makin’ me sleepy as fuck, but I like talking to you.” 

“I like talking to you, too.”

Lup grinned. “Let’s keep talking then. Don’t get mad if I fall asleep, though.” 

Barry laughed. “Okay, Lup.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Two

Taako sat on his haunches, continuing to uphold his staring contest with the long eared, one eyed creature. 

It had been a minute. Merle let out a whistle from behind him. Taako kept staring, a breeze stinging his burning eyes. He couldn’t blink now, though. 

Another thirty seconds. They pulsed and watered. 

Another minute. Holy fuck, he was gonna break soon. 

Twelve seconds, the creatures eyelid snapped over it’s massive eyeball, and hissed angrily. Still, it slid the Light of Creation out from it’s pouch, which Taako accepted, eyes practically melting out of their sockets. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Four

Lup picked up her newest sample container and leapt onto the deck of the Starblaster, prancing inside. It was full of several pounds worth of dirt and clay, but she could hardly tell. Barry had asked for soil samples to study in an attempt to learn more about what had caused this planet to lose the vast majority of its gravitational pull. The gravity was strong enough to more or less keep things rooted down, but not strong enough to keep Magnus from practically flying everywhere he went. 

“Baaaaarold,” She called, skipping through the lobby and giving a wave to her brother, who was teaching himself how to make jewelry. “Where aaaare you?” 

There was no answer. Lup frowned; Barry usually tripped over himself to hang out with her. Lup meant that in the nicest way possible, though, because she did pretty much the same with him. They had steadily been growing closer and closer since the beach world, and aside from Taako, he was probably her best friend. 

She bounded down the lab hall, heading right towards the second to last at the very end of the hall. Lab 4 had become Barry’s designated personal lab throughout the years. It was the second largest, and typically, Lup found herself in that one a lot of the time as well. Lup knocked on the glass, before pulling open the door. Barry’s desk light was on, and his head was down over one of his field journals. 

“Barry?” His shoulders tensed, but he didn’t answer. “You okay, babe?” 

“Fine, Lup. Just, uh, working.” He sat up, still facing away from her. He sniffled loud and wetly. Shit. 

She dropped the box, and dashed over to him, immediately wrapping her arms around his back. “What’s going on?” 

“Noth-” He shuddered against her, and Lup slipped around to his front, crouching in front of his chair and peering up at him. 

“What is it?” She asked softly, holding his arms gently. 

“Just,” he laughed sadly, taking his tear splattered glasses off and setting them on the desk, wiping under his red eyes. “Just, this sucks so much, you know? This is so shit, Lup.” 

“What is?” She knew, though. 

“What if...what if it’s us? What if The Hunger is after  _ us _ and we’re what’s killing all these planets?” 

“No, Barry, it’s after the light, we know this.” 

“I know,” a tear dropped off his nose. “But like, we just, we keep leaving everyone behind. We’re letting them die.” 

“We’re not, I promise. Every time we get the light, The Hunger doesn’t get them. We know this already, Barry, what’s making you think all this?” 

“Lup-” he made a noise in the back of his throat, and then leaned over to his desk. He had a microscope out, and had been sketching something in his journal. “Look in there.” 

She straightened up, peering through the microscope. All at once, she saw it. They were tiny, microscopic civilizations. Hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of them, just in this one small soil sample. Impossibly small huts and vehicles and creatures moving around, blissfully ignorant of Lup’s very existence. 

“Fuck,” she whispered. 

“I know.” He sank back over the desk, digging his fingers into his scalp miserably. “I know, and there’s so much dirt. There’s so much fucking  _ DIRT _ , Lup! There’s so fucking much, and there’s billions of these, and it’s covering this whole planet, and we still haven’t found the goddamn fucking light, Lup! They’re all gonna fucking die, and they’re too small for us to even communicate with, and—“

He broke down again, sobbing into his arms, shoulders trembling with emotion. Lup felt his pain hook into her chest, and it pulled her to him. She couldn’t reason with him, couldn’t promise it would all be okay, because she couldn’t lie to Barry, and those could very well be lies. So, instead she did the only thing she could. She tilted his body against hers, let Barry latch onto her and sob into her shoulder while she rubbed his back and murmured soothing words against his hair. 

Lup didn’t make any false promises. She didn’t claim that these tiny families and governments and societies would survive the year. But she was there, and she was warm, and she was comforting, and she was  _ there _ . 

They didn’t get the light that year. Her and Barry never breathed a word of what they’d discovered to anyone else on the crew, and they never offered up any explanation as to why Barry now kept seventeen boxes of just dirt in Lab 4. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Five

Lup’s grip on Taako’s ankles was almost painful as he swayed back and forth beneath the Starblaster. Barry’s arms were around her waist, and Lucretia was clutching onto his shoulders. Icy rain splattered against Taako’s face, and he shuddered, fingers reaching down with every bit of length he could muster. 

“Grab the fuck on!” He shouted to Magnus, who was coughing on the salty sea water. The light was wrapped up in his arms, which kept him from paddling and staying afloat. 

“Can’t!” He gasped, sinking under again. 

“Get close so I can levitate you!”

“Can’t!” He choked again. He wasn’t even  _ trying.  _

Magnus was drowning. 

He chucked the light up to Taako, who caught it with rain slicked hands. 

Magnus went under. Taako whimpered. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Seven

Lup caught Barry’s eye from across the dinner table. He smiled weakly at her, but neither said a word. 

“Who’s gonna fly the ship now?” Merle asked, breaking the silence. 

“No fucking idea.” Taako said, pushing his empty plate away from himself and leaning onto Lup’s arm. 

“Lucretia, you’ve watched him fly a lot, maybe you could?” Magnus suggested, sawing off a hunk of meat from his plate. Taako wrinkled his nose. 

“I’m surely not qualified for that!” Lucretia sputtered.

“Sure you are, babe.” Lup laughed, shaking Taako off and reaching over his back to pat her shoulder. “Fly us the fuck off this bitch.”

“Very encouraging, Lup.” Lucretia sighed. 

“That’s what I’m here for.” Barry chuckled from across the table, and Lup grinned at him.

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Eight

Taako inched closer to the tiny creature, dropping even lower down in an attempt to be at its level. Tiny, crawling  _ somethings _ . Bugs, maybe, he thought. Whatever they were, they were fascinating. 

“It’s so small.” Lup hummed from his left. 

“Yeah,” he whispered back, entranced by the small bug. This whole world was overrun by the little thingies. They hadn’t been here long enough to know much about them, only a few weeks, but Team Learn About the Locals (Taako, Lup, and Barry) reunited to research them. 

“Barry,” Taako called softly, and Barry crept over, small cup and piece of paper extended. Carefully, Taako lifted up the bug with a finger, scooping it into his palm. He brushed it into Barry’s cup, who in turn covered it with the paper. 

“We got one!” Lup cheered. “We’re gonna learn the fuck out of you,” she said, crouching next to Taako and peering at the second bug they hadn’t caught, which was twirling around the plant stem. She reached a finger out towards it, and it moved in a blur, snapping out at her and then recoiling. She yelped, clutching the pad of her index. 

“What? Are you okay?” Taako said, snatching her hand from her. A bead of blood was pooling at the tip of her finger. Lup whimpered. 

“It hurts,” She managed, wincing, and then a bead of sweat rolled down her face. “Fuck, okay, it hurts really bad.” Taako locked eyes with Barry, who was growing panicked. 

“Let’s go back to the Starblaster, Merle’s there, he can heal you.” Taako said, standing up and taking Lup’s arm. She put her finger in her mouth, sucking at the blood. Barry staggered behind, the paper trembling from where he held it over the cup. 

Lup only got worse during the walk to the Starblaster. Her grip was slack and pupils dilated. They barely got her onto the ship before she was sweating bullets, and swaying on her feet. Taako dragged her to the couch, and she collapsed onto it on impact. 

“I’m just gonna— put this, uh,” Barry mumbled, his cup shaking along with his hands.

“Fucking kill it, I don’t care.” Taako snapped, running a hand through his hair. The blood hadn’t stopped, and seemed to be flowing even heavier now. Her right index finger had started purpling. “Do shit with it, and find Merle.”

“Right yeah, I’ll,”

“Go!” He shouted, glaring ferociously at Barry, who nodded weakly and sprinted down the lab hall and yelling Merle’s name. 

“Don’t be...mean, Koko…” Lup murmured, eyes unfocused. She reached up with her bleeding hand, finger twining around his hair. Taako sniffled. 

“Please, just, Lulu, just wait for Merle, he’ll be here soon. I know it hurts just, please, Lup.” A tear slid down his cheek. He couldn’t even think.

“Shhhh,” she said, giggling deliriously. He felt her forehead. She was burning up. A shiver went through her body, and she gagged. Gagged hard, jolting up and dry heaving, bits of red spitting onto the floor along with her saliva. 

“Lulu-“

“Taako,” she laughed, blood drooling down her chin. “I think I’m fucking dying?” 

“No you’re not.” He hissed, shuddering violently. “BARRY? FUCKING— god, where is he?” 

“It’s okay, brobro. I’m fine! See,” she tried to sit up, and wheezed, mouth starting to foam a bit. She gagged on it. Blood dripped out of her nose. Taako wrapped his arms around her, tears wetting her shoulder while blood wet his. There were distant sounds of people whispering all around him. 

“What’s going on?!” “Is she okay?!”

He took a shaky breath, Lup suddenly very heavy in his arms, Taako suddenly very nauseous. 

“Taako?” Barry. 

“I…”

“Aw shit. I’m sorry, Taako. She’ll be back next year though!” Merle. 

“Shut,” he wheezed, “The fuck. Up.” 

“Taako?” Barry. 

“SHUT UP!” He screamed, clutching onto her body even tighter. 

Someone’s hand touched his shoulder, and there were hushed voices all around him. The room was spinning. 

He stood up abruptly, her body coming with him, heavy and limp.  _ Lup _

“Get away from me.” 

Barry was crying. Magnus was there too, now. He reached out a hand to Lup, and Taako lunged back, snarling. 

“Don’t fucking touch her.”

“Taako, we can’t just keep her body-” Magnus. 

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” He sobbed, backing up and away from the growing crowd of his team. “You can’t come near her, none of you.”  _ Lup Lup Lup Lup _

“Taako,” Dav. “We can’t keep her on the ship.”

“She isn’t fucking leaving.”

“Would she want this for you?”

“YES!” He screamed, running fingers through her hair. “She wouldn’t want us to he seperated, she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t—“

Lucretia. “She won’t be gone forever, it’s okay—”

“IT’S NOT OKAY!” He wailed, dragging both of them down the dorm hall. Everyone kept following. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone with his dead fucking sister?  _ Lup Lup Lup Lup Lup Lup.  _

With one final burst of movement, Taako shot into Lup’s dorm, slamming and locking the door shut behind him in one swift motion. Fists pounded on the door and wall, but he could hardly hear it over the blood rushing in his ears and mournful sounds he was making. 

He crawled into her bed, pulling her body next to his, gasping and crying. His heart was being ripped apart, nerve by nerve. Taako reached out shakily, wiping off the blood and spittle from her face. He continued methodically until she looked clean and peaceful. 

Like she was sleeping. 

He woke up hours later in pitch darkness. Lup was cold. She was cold, and what woke him up was the feeling of her in his arms, and her heart not beating in time with his. 

Because she was dead. Lup was dead. Lup was dead his sister was dead she was deadshewasdeadshewasdeadshewasDEAD-

Taako howled, every inch of himself shattering and coming together and then shattering again. What was the last thing he’d said to her? What was the last thing she said to him? How the fuck was he supposed to last an entire year without his  _ heart _ ? 

Taako sat up, Lup falling limply across the space he’d been holding her in. 

_ How was he supposed to last an entire year without her? _

He stood up, stumbling around the dark room blindly, searching for something. 

_ How was he supposed to last an entire year without her? _

He couldn’t breath, sobbing again, gasping air that wouldn’t find his lungs right. 

_ How was he supposed to last an entire year without her? _

He gripped the handle of Lup’s sword. A gift from one of the locals from a cycle he couldn’t remember. She hardly used it, it hung on her wall for decoration. 

_ How was he supposed to last an entire year without her? _

Taako steeled himself, pointedly not looking over his shoulder where Lup’s fucking dead body lay on her bed. Like she was sleeping. A cold, heartless, sleeping body that looked exactly him. Why not add a second?

_ How was he supposed to last an entire year without her? _

He wouldn’t have to find out. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Twenty Nine

Lup knew what dying felt like, now. She could join the select club that Magnus and Barry both were part of, the I Know What Death Feels Like Club. 

That was her first thought when coming back into her body at the start of the next cycle. 

It wasn’t of her brother. Her first thought had nothing at all to do with Taako. She would feel guilty about that for most of this year. 

She registered a hand in hers, and then a body around hers, and then loud sobbing against the curve of her neck.  _ Taako. _

“Shit, hey, Koko. You okay?” 

He staggered backwards, absolutely grief stricken. The look on his face Lup feel sick. 

“Koko? What?”

“You fucking died.” His voice was empty. The commons were empty, but not empty. She could see the reflections of the crew in the glass of the dome behind Taako. It was dead silent. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.” Lup had no idea how to handle this interaction. She knew she had died, she hadn’t enjoyed the process, she was sure Taako hadn’t either, but she was here now. It was a fresh cycle, they’d hugged, things were back to normal, right? 

His eyes flashed. “Is that it?”

Lup furrowed her brows. “The fuck’s that mean, ‘is that it’? You want me to apologize for some bullshit bug injecting me with venom? Oh, sorry for the inconvenience!” She crossed her arms over her chest. Lup was the one who fucking died here, not goddamn Taako. Not Mr. I Have To Complain About Shit And Make Everything About Me. 

“Fuck you.” He hissed, and shoved her as he stormed away. A moment passed, and then a door slammed. 

Lup turned around and glared at the crew, all watching with wide, shocked expressions. 

“What?!” She snapped. No one spoke. “God, fuck this shit.” She thundered down the hall to her own dorm, immediately to the right of Taako’s.

The first thing she noticed was that her door was gone. There were deep scratches and wood chips splintered on the edges as if it’d been cut down with an axe and then slightly sanded over. Lup stepped inside, angry shifting into confusion and slight worry. Her bed was a disaster, things were knocked off her shelves, the sword she’d gotten from Cycle Twenty Three was just  _ gone _ . 

“Hey, what the fuck happened to my room?!” She yelled. No answer. Lup huffed out an angry breath. This wasn’t how she’d left it last cycle, and quite frankly, Lup was pretty irritated that instead of ignoring it at the very least, one of her crewmates had come in and fucked it up on purpose. Magnus passed her room in the hall. “Magnus, what happened here?” She demanded, stalking over to him. 

Magnus just shook his head, customary ice pack already stuck with medical tape over his black eye. He knocked softly on Taako’s door. 

“Hey, man. You okay?” 

“Go the fuck away, Magnus.” Came Taako’s muffled reply. It didn’t sound right. 

“Okay, sure. We need to talk about last cycle though. Please.” 

Taako didn’t say anything back. 

“What happened last cycle?” Lup asked, getting impatient. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Magnus said, looking a little broken, all of a sudden. It didn’t look right on his face. 

“For Fantasy Christ’s sake!” She groaned, stomping back into her room. 

An hour later, she was still pouting, on the floor and leant back against her bed. She’d started putting things up, and then abandoned that after a few minutes. She was too mad and stubborn to do any more. 

Someone knocked against her door frame. “Hey, Lup?” Barry. 

“I’ll only talk to you if you give me an actual logical fucking explanation of what the fuck is going on.”

“You’re in luck, that’s exactly what I’m here to do.” She laughed, albeit weakly, and Barry sat down on the ground next to her. 

“Do you know why Taako’s all pissed at me?” 

“Yeah, uh,” he tilted his head back against the mattress, exhaling. “Got a pretty good guess at least.”

“Spill, then.” 

“So you, uh, you remember getting bit?”

“Natch, yeah.” 

“Well you were pretty out of it, so just making sure. Taako and I- we were having to practically carry you back to the Starblast, Lup, like it was really bad. When we got you on there, like, your legs gave out and we had to get you on the couch and Taako was like, screaming at me, like, ‘Go get Merle go get Merle’, and I’m like freaking out, because at that point I’m pretty sure like, you’re gonna die.” 

“Okay,” Lup said, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“So I’m going to find Merle, and I practically run into Dav and Lucretia, and I say something about you getting bit and they say something about Merle and Magnus in the big lab? So I run there, and I say, I don’t remember what I say exactly, but I’m like, guys hurry Lup’s fucking dying, or something.” Lup nods. This is extremely weird to listen to. 

Barry rambles on, wringing his hands as he speaks. Lup fights the urge to reach out and still them. “We get back into the commons, and we’re like, how’s she doing what’s going on, and Taako is just, he’s just- he’s holding you, and it’s obvious that he’s crying, and I’m just standing there like, ‘Oh, shit’.” 

“So I died right in front of him? That’s why he’s mad at me?” Barry shook his head uncomfortably. She wondered if he had volunteered to catch her up, or if he’d been forced to. 

“You did uh, you did die in front of him. But after that, we’re all asking Taako to let go, to let us bury you or something, because we can’t just leave you on the ship, that’s crazy. And Taako starts getting, he got very upset about that. He like, picked you up and is screaming at us and then he runs and locks himself in your room. And he’s got your dead body with him, and Dav is really worried, he thought like Taako might make himself actually sick with grief.” 

“Did he?” Lup asked softly. Barry didn’t look at her. 

“Was uh, it was worse than that, actually. We were, we all knocked on the door and were telling him to let us in, and he didn’t, he never answered. So finally, Dav is like, we’ll try again in the morning, they were really close so we just should leave him alone for a bit.” Lup watches a tear catch in the hall light, reflecting as it tracks his way down his face and against his nose, collecting there. 

“That was the uh, the wrong thing to do,” Barry says quietly. “Lucretia knocked on the door in morning, no answer, we check again at noon, still no answer. Finally, that night, we’re like, ‘Magnus you’ve gotta break down the door. Taako needs to eat, we can’t leave him like this,’ and so Magnus gets one of his swords and starts, like, hacking at the door frame.”

Lup thinks about the scratches on the frame, connecting with the wall. She felt sick. 

“We get in there and...and...he’s just, he had...Taako had gotten your um, your sword from...from the uh, that one world, and he’d just...he’d taken it and he’d...he’d…”

“Don’t say it,” Lup gasped in a breath, cold and painful and rotten and she was crying. 

“Don’t tell me what I think you’re about to say is what happened, don’t  _ fucking say that _ , Barry.” 

“I’m sorry, Lup.” His voice is thick with emotion. 

This is when Lup loses it. She feels her chest fold in on itself, and she falls over his lap, a gut-wrenching wail escaping her lips. 

“He, oh god, he...he...Taako, oh  _ god, fuck _ ,” She moaned, sobbing and clutching onto Barry like a lifeline. “Oh god,  _ Taako _ … This can’t, this is my fault, Taako, no, no, no,”

“Lup, it’s not your fault, I promise, it’s okay,”

“It’s not it’s not, I  _ killed my fucking brother _ it’s my fault, he, fuck-  _ Taako-o-o _ …” She heaved, shoulders shuddering with agony. “I need to...he...I can’t believe he…”

“Go talk to him.” Barry commanded, and Lup was up, skidding down the hall and pounding on the door. 

“Taako! Fucking, fucking...open...” She sobbed, shaking the door handle. He opened the door, and she snatched him up, choking on her tears. “How  _ could you _ ...how could, fucking... _ Taako _ ,” 

They dropped to the ground, clutching onto each other, puzzle pieces finally fitting back together after being broken apart for too long. 

“I couldn’t, I just couldn’t,” he whimpered. 

“Yes, you could’ve! You could’ve, I can’t fucking...why would you just...it  _ hadn’t even been a day _ , Koko…” She dragged her fingers into his hair, running them onto his cheeks, smearing away the tears and cupping his face. 

He shuddered. “I didn’t want to have to live a day without you, Lulu, I couldn’t, I just can’t I can’t, you never...you have no idea what it  _ felt like _ , I saw you, and then you just, fuck,”

Her grip got tighter. “I know, I know,  _ I’m here now _ , I’m here, Koko. Just, please, just never, just never never never, god, Taako, you have to,” she sunk her hands off of his face and down his arms, refusing to break contact for even a second. She wrapped their hands up, pulling his pinky apart and linking it with hers. “Promise, Taako, you have to promise.”

“I promise, I promise,” 

She shook their hands, his bracelets jinggling. “Promise me, you’ll never, never do it, never again,”

“I promise, Lulu,”

She went on like she hadn’t heard him, voice cracking and tortured. “No matter how early in the year, no matter how awful it is, how much you want to, please promise you won’t do it again.”

“I won’t, I promise I won’t, Lulu. I swear.”

Lup searched his gold eyes, and then collapsed against his lap, shaking. Their arms were angled weirdly beneath her body as she lay across him, face burrowing into his stomach, sobs coming back again with another wave of misery. 

He lay over her back, sinking into affection, and the two meshed together; they became TaakoandLup, LupandTaako. They sunk and blended into one, in a way it seemed only twins could, a way only they could. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Thirty

Something had changed with Lup. Taako couldn’t quite put his finger on what, but something was different about her. Everytime they were alone and scavenging through the forest of discarded parts and metals, he bugged her about it. She didn’t give anything away, though, and it was driving him insane. 

Meanwhile, he had been teasing Barry about his crush. He’d known the guy was into Lup since the beach world, and that felt like a lifetime ago. Taako was becoming pretty good friends with Barry, and while he felt close enough with the whole crew, it was nice having someone beside Lup that just...knew him. 

Whatever, Taakow was being weird. Barry was a goddamn nerd, and that’s why Taako hung around him so much, to make fun of him. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Forty Two

“Okay, new game, everyone.” Taako announced, setting a covered dish down in front of Magnus. Lup bit down so hard on her lip, she thought it might bleed. Taako stamped on her foot, shooting her a  _ stop fucking laughing  _ look. 

“What kind of game?” Magnus asked, setting down one of Lucretia’s journals from an early cycle, which he’d been looking through. 

“It’s a guess what the fuck we put into this bowl kinda game, Mags!” Taako grinned. Lup bit the inside of her cheek and spun around to face the sink, covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. 

“Oh, alright. So, I just have to taste it?”

“Mhm.” Taako said. Lup could hear him holding back laughter. 

“Okay. Can I have a spoon?”

“Shuh-sure, Lulu, get the man a spoon.”

“Okay,” Lup said, voice cracking into a wheeze from how hard she was trying not to break. “Here ya go, Mag—Magnus…” 

“Thanks,” he looked at her strangely. “You okay, lup?”

“Peachy!” She giggled. 

“Okay close your eyes.” Taako told Magnus, who did so. Taako lifted the lid off. Lup’s eyes were watering. Taako helped navigate Magnus’s hand over the dish, and then lowered it into the substance and then into his mouth. 

He swallowed. Lup trembled. His face contorted, and then his eyes snapped open. 

“THIS IS JUST PURE FUCKING FLOUR!”

Lup screamed, collapsing onto the ground, shaking and wheezing. She only barely registered Taako above her, laughing his fucking ass off. This was a good ass cycle. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Forty Seven

Taako watched his sister and his brother, because that’s what Barry was now, that’s what the whole crew was to him at this point, make their way onto the stage. Someone had rolled a piano up, and Lup carried a violin and bow under her arm. She’d never shown any interest in music before, so Taako guessed this was her just fucking around with all the crazy resources they had access to here. 

The two stopped center stage, introducing themselves and their piece, and then taking their place. Barry sat on the piano bench, smoothing his black slacks. Taako was pretty sure this was the first time he’d ever seen the man not in jeans, and he looked wildly uncomfortable not in them. Taako leaned forward in his seat, setting his elbows on his knees and propping his chin up on them. 

Barry began to play. Simple chords at first, deep and rich. Lup stood perfectly still across the stage from him, positioning her violin. Taako could tell she was nervous, but he knew it wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else. Barry’s fingers began to skim higher keys, dancing gracefully. A subtle ship in Lup’s posture, and then she lifted her bow, dragging it across a sting. 

The chords progressed, and Lup’s bow moved more, touching different notes and shifting and pulling, an ebb and flow of music. It coursed through Taako, and slowly, he drew up higher, arms dropping to his side, eyes glued to his sister. He had never seen her play before, she’d never played until this year and had refused to show him until now. 

An emotion saturated their song, growing stronger with each drag of her bow and twirl of his fingers. An emotion ...sorrow? Guilt? No, a new chord mingled between their instruments, a yearning, a passion. 

Love. It was love. Lup slipped of the violin, Barry’s fingers slowed. He pressed a final chord, and then a light, comforting note, and Lup pulled a final complementary strong under her bow, and it finished. 

Taako didn’t breath. They silently come together on the stage once more, and take each others hands. Taako is on his feet immediately, screaming and clapping and possibly crying a little bit. Barry’s smile is practically carved into his face, and Lup is glowing and beaming. Barry takes her hand in his, and they bow, a bow that quickly becomes a spontaneous dance in and ofitself, Barry sweeping her off her feet, and her spinning him around, and both of them laughing and smiling and just…

Taako couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed that Lup was in love. 

She leans close to his ear, whispering something, and then Barry lights up even moreso, if that were possible. They put their sheet music on the pedestal, a flash of light, and the song is gone. Taako can’t remember it, any of it, and he panics for a long second, before it’s suddenly back in another flash of light. The entire audience is now on their feet with Taako, roaring and applauding, and Taako smiles. 

Lup and Barry aren’t on stage anymore, just like how he knew they wouldn’t. Taako was going to have to congratulate those two idiots as soon as found them again. He couldn’t wait to start teasing  _ both _ of them now, for being hopelessly and recklessly in love. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Fifty

Lup’s feet were thrown over Barry’s lap, and she was doing her best to distract him from whatever he was working on. She kicked a foot up, poking at his cheek. 

“Gross, Lup,” he laughed, pulling her leg back down, and running his hand up and down her leg. 

“I’m so bored.” She groaned, leaning her neck back over the armrest of the couch. She was too long to lay comfortably across it, and shoulders and up were hanging off the side. “Taako’s been gone for a week, and he was like, my main source of entertainment.”

Barry chuckled. “What about me?”

“You’re not very entertaining, actually.” Barry pouted, and pushed her legs off his lap. 

“No more affection, then.”

“Nooooo!” Lup cried, letting gravity pull her body of the couch completely. “How could you betray me like this?”

“It was pretty easy,”

“Jerk.” She laughed, crawling back up and curled up against his side. 

“Yes, love?” 

“Do something entertaining.”

“Like what?” 

Lup shrugged, “we could make out?” Barry’s cheeks went pink, even after all this time. 

“Alright.” He dropped his papers on the ground, and Lup slid onto his lap, pecking his lips. He pulled her in again, smiling against her mouth. 

“You’re laughing,” she mumbled, smiling too. “We can’t kiss if you’re smiling.”

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding even a little sorry. “I just don’t know how I got so lucky with you.”

“Aw, you’re sappy.” Lup smiled, leaning back and wrapping her legs around his waist, arms twining around his neck. Barry’s hands rested around her back, his thumbs hooking together. The way he was looking at her...like she was something special and beautiful and incredible...it still did something funny to her stomach. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Barry asked, smile stretching even wider. 

Lup groaned and pulled her arms away to cover his face. “Like  _ that _ .”

Barry laughed again, and tugged her flush against his chest. 

“I love you, Lup.” 

“I know you do.” She paused, kissing him long and soft. “I love you too, Barold.”

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Sixty

Taako’s hand went to his side, and it came away sticky and red. Barry was looking at him in horror. 

“Oh, shit.” 

He stumbled forward. Barry ran to grab his arms, but his own hands were slick with blood. 

“Shit, Taako, we need to, we’ve gotta,”

“It’s fine!” He snapped, letting Barry ease him onto the ground. “Keep fucking fighting! I’m gonna die anyway, just go protect my fucking sister!” 

“Right, uh, I’m sorry, Taako.”

“Yeah, yeah, go!”

Barry sprinted towards the mouth of the cave where Lup was blasting the fuck out of some massive living moutain creatures. Taako lowered his head onto the ground, and stared up at the dark roof of the cave until it was swirling and then gone altogether. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Sixty Four

Lup felt something graze her cheek. She dropped to the ground fast as the arrows whizzing over head. Barry’s glassy eyed and slack jawed expression made her sick, and she clutched his lifeless hand tightly. She turned her head over to her left, Taako’s crumpled form still bleeding out. He had been killed just recently. She didn’t want to see his face, and was thankful that’d fallen facing the other way. 

She released Barry’s hand, and flipped onto her back, eyes breathing in The Hunger raging above her. She pulled the loves of her life close to her sides, one arm wrapped around each of them. Her boys. Taako and Barry. Lup exhaled shakily, the broken arrow shaft now jutting through the back of her knee in waves of pain. It hurt like fuck, but Lup knew it wouldn’t be fatal. The Hunger was what would kill her, and she was just gonna take it. 

The Starblaster streaked over head, disappearing into the sky, and Lup could die easy knowing they had the light, that they’d all be back in a few minutes. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Sixty Five

Lup’s grip around his hand was tight as ever, and she gave him a fast hug before darting across the lobby to Barry. Taako went to the couch, easing himself down, still remembering the tightness in his muscles from the last world, even though the pain didn’t transfer. He rubbed unconsciously at his jugular, where not long ago a sharp and large arrow had been imbedded. He could clearly remember choking on his own blood until he died. 

Taako shuddered. He didn’t like dying, it definitely sucked. 

Magnus came and sat next to him, taping the ice pack to his eye with the practice of over sixty years. Fisher floated after him, practically tethered to Magnus. “That was a rough one, huh?”

“For sure.” Taako mumbled, swallowing thickly. 

“Did you die too?”

“Mhm. Arrow straight through my throat. I was with Lup and Barold, at the very end, we were all hurt and so Merle and Dav left us. Barold got killed pretty quickly, and then I went next. I don’t know about Lup.”

Magnus gave him a sympathetic glance, twirling a finger around one of Fisher’s tentacle thingies. “Sounds shit.”

“Aways is,” Taako sighed. “How’d you go? We never saw you after you were kidnapped.”

“Yeah, they, uh,” Magnus rubbed the back of his neck. “It was gruesome. They had some awful looking machine that fucking ripped off my arms.”

“Holy  _ shit _ .”

“Yeah, and then it got pretty hazy, but I think they cut off my head too.”

“Golems are certainly a violent folk,” Taako breathed. 

“Yeah,” Magnus sighed, and then got up. “Imma take a nap. Come get me when we can see the next planet?”

“Will do.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Sixty Nine

“You’ve heard of liches, right Lup?”

“Sure. Scary, evil necromancers?”

“Yeah, them.” Barry waved her over to his desk. “I’ve been researching them alongside my regular necrotic spell work, and shit, they’re so cool.”

“Cool?” Lup laughed, leaning on his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Barry replied, dead serious. “Really fucking cool.”

Lup pulled away, tensing. “I don’t like how that sounds.”

Barry looked up at her, apologetic. “Sorry, it probably sounds suspicious. I’m just thinking about it, is all. It might be useful on this mission, is what I’ve been thinking.”

“How?”

“If I die, I could still work alongside all of you. It would be pretty helpful, I think.”

“Isn’t there a fuckton of stuff that goes into becoming a lich, though?”

“Definitely,” Barry nodded, losing focus on her and leafing through a journal. “Been charting it, not this cycle, not for awhile...but eventually.” He looked up, locking eyes with her. “I could do it, Lup. You, Taako, the crew; you all would be what kept me sane.”

Lup swallowed. “That’s a whole lot of pressure, babe.”

Barry didn’t even seem to hear her, lost in thought once more. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Seventy Seven

Taako pressed a chaste kiss to Ronaldo’s lips, heart sinking. 

“I really am sorry,” he mumbled.

“I know.” Ronaldo sighed, arms heavy around Taako’s shoulders. “I know you are.”

“I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“Me too. At least you saved this world though, right?”

“Right.” Taako smiled hesitantly. The sky was dark and unsaturated. Ronaldo’s piercing blue eyes were practically gray. “I should get going, The Hunger is arriving.”

“Yeah,” Ronaldo kissed him again, and then pulled away. 

“Bye, Handsome.” Taako said, waving. 

“Bye, Taako.” 

Taako didn’t cry on the ship. He was sad, sure. Ronaldo was a great guy. Taako would miss him, he really would. 

But he was one person out of thousands that Taako had met. He would die one day anyway, and that would be it. Taako could meet someone even better next cycle. 

Ronaldo was practically walking dust. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Eighty Two

Lup felt pure power course through her veins. She flexed her fingers, energy sparking off of her. Fuck, this felt  _ good _ . She was so glad she’d convinced Barry to let her do this too. He couldn’t really refuse after all the work she’d done alongside him on this project. 

Barry’s lich form crackled from beside her. They acknowledged each other, and then sunk back into their bodies. Lup picked herself up slowly, giving Taako a shaky grin. 

“I can’t believe it worked,” she said. 

“I can’t believe you fucking  _ dabbed _ .” Taako said. 

Lup collapsed backwards in giggles, and Barry came up next to her, kissing her hair and laughing. They did it! 

“You dabbed, the first thing you did as a lich was dab,” Taako said, wobbling towards them while dissolving into laughter as well. He dropped on top to Barry, falling over Lup, all three of them stumbling around each other, cackling and in hysterics. 

And then they kept laughing, and kept laughing, and kept laughing. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Eighty Six

“I am terribly sorry to leave you all.” Taako spoke nobly to his crowd of admirers. 

“Oh please, King Taako, you can’t leave.”

“I must.” He said sadly. 

“Nooo!” Cried his chief assistant. 

“Sorry. Bye.” Taako turned, his cape flying out behind him as he boarded the Starblaster. 

“You’re the fucking worst.” Lup said when the door shut behind him. 

“I’ll do anything to feed my ego.”

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Ninety Three

Lup hooked the handle of the umbra staff at her belt, and propped her chin on the counter. 

“Whatcha cookin’?”

“Stew.” Taako replied, blandly. “We don’t have much food and so I’m makin’ a huge meal that we can spread out.”

“Smart. Can I try it?” 

“Sure, it’s not seasoned yet, though.”

“Needs salt.”

“I fucking know, I haven’t seasoned it yet.”

Lup laughed, poking his cheek. She went to sit on the ledge, and peered through the glass at the raging blizzard outside. “Think Barry’s gonna freeze to death out there?”

“Yeah,” Taako said from the kitchen. “At least he’ll come back. Magnus’ll just be gone until the next cycle.”

“I’m just glad Lucy can fly the ship. We’d be fucked without her.”

“She’s still mad she couldn’t go with them, though.”

“I know, but with Dav dead so soon...what else could we do?”

“True. Try this again? I added salt  _ and  _ oregano.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Ninety Six

Taako sat on the deck of the Starblaster, legs sticking through the gating and dangling over the lake below him. 

“Hey kid, whatcha doin’ out here?”

“Hey, Merle.” Taako rested his forehead against the railing, sighing deeply. “Just thinking, I guess.”

“New one for you.”

“Shut up, you smell like cabbage.” Taako said, laughing. Merle sat beside him. 

“You doin’ okay kid?”

“Yeah its just...weird seeing Lup like this. She doesn’t feel like the same person.”

“I bet.” Merle patted his shoulder uncomfortably. “You’re not gonna cry, are you? If you are, I’m just gonna leave.” 

“No,” Taako sighed again. “It’s just weird. For the first time in pretty much our entire lives...she doesn’t look like me.” 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Ninety Eight

Lup sat on the couch, playing with Barry’s hair with her left hand, and sketching her relic with her right. 

“You definitely think this is a good idea?” Lucretia asked from the floor where she had been doing yoga. Now she just sat cross legged, arrow straight posture, and looking at the two sadly. 

“I do.” Lup said, meeting her gaze evenly. “We can’t cut off the planes, Lucy, it’ll just—”

“I’m not talking about compared to my idea,” Lucretia interrupted. “I’m talking about in general. This is really our best bet?” 

“It’s the only one we have aside from yours, isn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Lucretia sighed and went back to her yoga, but Lup could tell that wasn’t the answer she’d been hoping for. 

Age One Hundred Six: Cycle Ninety Nine

Taako sat down at the bar of a tavern in some measly town called Phandalin. “Just a beer, thanks.” He said, slapping some gold down on the bar. His head hurt. 

“Where’d you put yours?” Merle asked, nursing his own beer to Taako’s left. 

“Dropped it down a well.” Taako said, staring blankly into the wall of alcohol. “You?” 

“I threw it over the deck while we were flying over a forest.” 

“You think someone’s gonna find it there?”

“Maybe,” Merle shrugged. “I don’t really care, as long as John doesn’t.”

“The Hunger,” Taako corrected. 

“Same thing.” Merle said quietly, staring into his beer like he was trying to talk to it. 

Taako went back to his. They had won, hadn’t they? If The Hunger couldn’t find them by the end of this year, then they won. Right? This should be exciting. 

It should be exciting, but Taako felt weirdly numb. 

Age One Hundred Seven: Cycle Ninety Nine

Lup wheezed, collapsing down against the wall of the cave, breathing quickly becoming difficult. She could hear the dwarfs bellowing from behind the thick wall of the locked vault. 

She eased her head back, trying to relax. She was a lich. She would be okay after this, she’d come back, surely some of her hair was on the Starblaster, they could get her body back. 

Lup coughed, practically choking. The handle of the umbra staff was loose in her hand as she began losing feeling in her fingers. 

“Taako…” she murmured, and light faded from her eyes. 

A second later, she exploded out in a mass of vaguely elf shaped black arcane power and a fluttering red cloak. She flexed, sighing, and then a shocked gasp as she was suddenly and violently being sucked  _ away.  _

Into the umbra staff. 

And it was suddenly dark again. 

Fuck. 

Age One Hundred Ten

Taako flipped some eggs on his frying pan, sprinkling more garlic over them. He couldn’t quite get the flavor right with them. 

“How are they comin’?” Sazed’s voice asked from the living room of their tiny apartment. Taako had had to move in with him after losing the lease on his own apartment. 

“Just fine,” Taako replied breezily. 

“Good, I’m fuckin’ starving.”

“Me too,” Taako laughed. “It was lucky getting these for so cheap.”

“Right?” Sazed said, shaking his head. “You’re so charming, it’s like magic.”

Taako grinned down at the eggs. “You’re too sweet to me.”

“I know I am, just can’t help it, boss.”

Age One Hundred Twelve

Lup meditated. It was the only thing she could really do. It was less dark, black rolling curtains made of impenetrable thick fabric kept her trapped. The more she pulled at them, tried to fit through, the heavier and denser they became. 

So, she meditated. Barry would find her. Or Taako would. She knew they were still looking for her. 

She had to keep thinking that, because if she stopped believing it, Lup was certain that she would _just_ _die_. 

Age One Hundred Fourteen 

Taako was having a panic attack. Fuck this, fuck his stupid weird seperation anxiety, fuck Sizzle It Up, fuck his horrible magic, and fuck Sazed, horrible bastard just fucking  _ leaving him here _ . 

Taako wouldn’t want to stay around a murderer either, but to think his boyfriend of over a year would do it so easily…

Taako shuddered; he was still having a panic attack. 

Age One Hundred Fifteen

Lup could feel again. It was cold and wet in the cave. She could hear again. Water was dripping from somewhere, and sometimes she thought she could hear footsteps. 

Age One Hundred Sixteen

Taako had decided to take up adventuring. It might give him some survival skills, make him less dependant on anyone else besides himself. He was an alright transmutation wizard, even though all he really knew were stage tricks and food spells. 

He’d be fine, though. Plus, it paid pretty damn well. 

Age One Hundred Seventeen 

TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO TAAKO—

Lup was  _ buzzing _ , he was here, he found her again! And Magnus and Merle were here too! She hadn’t understood why Taako hadn’t immediately recognizes the skeleton and umbra staff as her’s, but her answer quickly came when she saw Barry as well. 

None of them remembered her. None of them remembered her gauntlet. 

And then she saw  _ Lucy _ , and  _ Dav _ , and  _ Fisher _ , and they were all HERE. One, two, three, four, five, five point five, and six. Barry wasn’t here, but that was okay, they’d get him back soon! 

Back soon. 

Fuck. 

Age One Hundred Seventeen and Eight Months

Taako’s umbra staff felt weird in his hand, but he couldn’t put energy into figuring out  _ why _ , because there was a fucking Red Robe here, one of the shits The Director had warned them about. 

His umbra staff stung his palm, so he switched it to his left and smacked it against his boot for good measure. It stopped, and Taako scoffed; he swore, sometimes it was like that thing had a mind of its own. 

Age One Hundred Eighteen 

Candlenights. Lup hadn’t celebrated it in so long. The crew had given up on celebrating sometime after cycle nineteen. 

Taako seemed to be having fun. Lup wished she could be with him. 

Lup was good at imagining, though. She liked inserting herself into this new story. She and Taako would hang by the snack table, critiquing the food and laughing about it. Angus would have a present for her, too. She’d rest an arm on Lucretia’s shoulders and everything would be okay.

In her fantasy, Barry was also there too. 

Age One Hundred Eighteen

“Hey, thug, what’s your name? I’m about to tentacle your DICK!”

Age One Hundred Eighteen

Lup fucking loved her brother. In her fantasy, where she was there too, she was teasing him. Teasing him about his obvious and dumb little crush on the fucking Grim Reaper. Kravitz was pretty cute, though. She agreed with her brother; he should have stayed handsome if he wanted them to be nice. 

Age One Hundred Eighteen 

Taako really didn’t like dying a whole lot, now that he knew what it was like. 0/10, the fucking worst. 

He did like hanging out with Kravitz, though. He was like, crazy handsome, and really sweet. And he looked at Taako like Taako might be worth something. 

And he seemed like he might want to see Taako again, like another date.  _ So _ . That was certainly nice. 

He collapsed onto his bed, twirling the handle of his umbra staff around in his hands. A dopey grin slipped onto his face, and he dropped the umbrella and took to covering his blushing cheeks instead. Taako felt like 20 year old him with his firat crush on a boy. All stupid and soft. 

Taako groaned, and stuffed his head under a pillow. He must have dozed off for at least an hour, because when he pulled his head out groggily, all the lights in the commons he ahared with The Boys were turned off, when they had been on before. 

What woke him up was the buzzing against his hip, the buzzing of his stone of farspeech, from where it was tucked in the wasteband of his leggings. He pulled it out, looking at Kravitz’s frequency curiously. 

“Hey, Krav, what’s up?”

_ “Uhh hi, Taako.” _

Taako laughed softly. “Hi, Kravitz. Why’d you call?”

_ “Oh, yeah, I wanted to, um, yeah I wanted to tell you I had a really nice time tonight.” _

Oh. “Oh,” his face was on fire. “Oh, um, I did too.”

_ “I know I left kind of quickly, but I wanted to know if you would really want to do this again?” _

“No, I, I definitely do.” Taako said in a rush, sitting up and leaning against his mountain of pillows. “I want to, yeah.”

_ “Really?” _ He sounded so hopeful, and it was making Taako melt. 

“Yeah, um, I think The Director has me and the boys training all week, but maybe we can, I dunno, see each other this weekend? If you’re free?”

_ “Seeing you tonight was the first personal meeting I’ve had in the entire time I’ve been a reaper, so I don’t think it will, uh, be very hard convincing the Raven Queen to let me have some time off.” _

Taako grinned, setting the stone on his bed and pulling apart his braid. “Okay, cool. I want to do that.”

_ “Yeah?” _

“Yeah! Oh my gosh, you need to get some confidence, Krav! You’re like handsome and sweet as fuck, don’t sound so shocked that I want to spend time with you.”

_ “Ah, um,”  _ Taako laughed.  _ “Thank you, Taako.” _

“No prob. Hey, I’m needa sleep for ten hours before training tomorrow, so I’ll talk to you later.”

_ “Oh, I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized how late it probably was.” _

“Nah, you’re fine. Night.”

_ “Goodnight.” _

Age One Hundred Eighteen and Seven Months

Lup was seething, so angry she could hardly see straight. 

These fucking liches were going to  _ die.  _ No one touched her brothers. No one did  _ shit _ to Merle or Magnus or-or, fuck, or  _ Taako _ . 

No one fucking hurt Taako. Not while she was watching. 

Her brothers did some fucking badass shit, but Lup wasn’t even seeing it anymore. She was seeing red, and then she was seeing that fucking horrible male elf,  _ Edward _ . 

“Are you the one who’s been hurting my brother out there?” Lup hissed. 

“What— I, where are we?”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you now.”

Lup was proud to say that Edward’s death was soon joined by Lydia’s. She took out two birds with one powerful burst of magic. She was feelin’ pretty fuckin’ badass. That adrenaline was quickly forgotten, though, because then—then.

Then there was Barry. And he didn’t remember her either. She’d gotten used to it after all this time from Taako, but fuck, she couldn’t handle it from  _ Barry _ . Not when she knew he’d been looking for her as a lich, and then saw her right there with him, knew she was there in the umbra staff, didn’t try to get her out. Sure, Taako’s head might have fucking exploded if she was released before he’d been able to remember, but  _ still _ . Lup was ready to get out, and she could feel it, she could feel that it would come soon. 

Age One Hundred Eighteen 

Taako had a stowaway lich in his bag of holding. This was so weird. Taako had a stowawy lich in his bag, and Magnus was fuck knowswhere, a fucking manequinne that would die and then get put back in his fucking body that Garfield had had this whole time for  _ god knows why _ , and, fuck. Taako felt like his brain was being pulled apart by a pair of tongs. He’d barely had time to acknowledge all the shit that happened in Wonderland, and then all  _ this _ new shit being piled on top…

He shook his head, he and Merle had a mission. Magnus was doing his part off somewhere dying. Taako needed to do his too. 

  
  


Age One Hundred Eighteen

Lup could feel it the instant he remembered. Something fogged over his eyes and then cleared and then his face contorted into a look of agony. Lup ached for him, but at the same time, she knew. She knew he remembered her now. And that overshadowed pretty much any concern she had for his well being at this point. 

Age One Hundred Eighteen

_ “I just feel horrible for  _ ** _him_ ** _ , losing  _ ** _his_ ** _ parents so young.” _ That was wrong. 

_ Taako was drawing with sticks in the dry dirt _ ** _, and she was playing with a loose thread on the end of her pants._ ** And that was right. 

_He skidded out of the wagon just in the nick of time, darting into the forest nearby _**_and kept running, he had enough to last himself for the night._** That was wrong. 

_ Taako dropped onto his butt across from  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ , brandishing the handsome, canvas duffle sack that had cost  _ ** _her_ ** _ a pretty penny last candlenights. _ That was right. 

**_His_**_ hair was longer now. _**_He’d_**_ been growing his out, _**_for some reason_**_, but then _**_Taako got bored_**_ and shaved off half of it on one side, _**_They hated not perfectly matching these days._** What? 

_ Taako didn’t know why  _ ** _he_ ** _ wasn’t just going back to Aunt Seransie, it was the smart thing to do. But,  _ ** _Lup said they couldn’t stay with her_ ** _ .  _ Wait, Lup? 

**_She_**_ wiped _**_her_** **_hands_**_ on _**_her skirt_**_, and leant back over _**_her spellbook_**_ to read the entry it was open to: _**_Burning Hands, a level one evocation spell_**_._ Taako didn’t know evocation, why the fuck did he suddenly know evocation? 

_ “ _ ** _Lup_ ** _ ! That was a second level spell!” He couldn’t see  _ ** _her_ ** _ through the smog he’d created, couldn’t see  _ ** _her face_ ** _ but he knew  _ ** _she’d be disoriented by the smoke but thrilled for him at the same time_ ** _ .  _ Who the—he had been alone when he learned that spell…

_ “Hey,  _ ** _TaakoandLup_ ** _ , come here!”  _ Wait—

_ “ _ ** _LupandTaako_ ** _ , I need  _ ** _you two _ ** _ to go and grab samples for me, if you can?”  _ Lup and…

Lup. 

** _Lup_ ** _ hummed  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ grinned  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ laughed  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ braided his hair  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ touched his face  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ screamed  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ clutched his hand  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ bled  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ cradled his face  _ ** _Lup_ ** _ twirled his hair Lup smiled  _ ** _Lup Lup Lup Lup Lup LupLupLupLupLupLup_ ** _ . _

Fuck. Oh,  ** _FUCK. _ **

Taako had forgotten his heart. 

The instant that thought hit him, everything else followed, and his knees buckled. IPRE, the two suns, the animal world, Barry, the Stablaster, the best day ever, that fucking dinner, the light, his relic, the umbra staff, the bug world, the beach world, Fisher, FUCK. 

Taako blacked out for approximately four seconds. After a moment, forehead no longer felt as if a nail was being hammered into it, being cracked fissured and ripped apart. He looked up at Lucretia, eyes narrowed into slits, and his only desire in the entire world was to hit her and never fucking stop. 

She stole Lup from him. She stole the only fucking thing that mattered in his entire world from him. And be would  _ never fucking  _ ** _forgive her for that_ ** _ .  _

Age One Hundred Eighteen 

Lup felt it, the instant her prison had been broken, the umbrella splintering in her brothers hands. It was like a window had been opened in a stuffy room, curtains being opened in the morning after waking up. 

Lup exploded out, and she was OUT. She felt her lich form hissing with magic, steaming and burning, and she cast the biggest spell she could. Fire burst out of her and she laughed maniacally, relishing in the feeling of freedom she had been deprived of for so goddamn long. 

She looked down at her brother, who was gazing up at her in shock and awe and incredulous joy. Lup wanted to rush down their and hug the life out of him, but she knew her magic would phaze right through him, which would fucking  _ hurt _ , both physically and emotionally. 

So, she settled for teasing him and letting them fall right back into old patterns. When she was  _ back _ back, then they would hug. She would braid his hair and they could nap and share clothes and Lup would kill The Hunger herself if it meant getting that with Taako. 

Age One Hundred Nineteen

Taako liked Carrie and Killian’s after party better than he’d liked the reception itself. 

He and Lup were no longer conjoined twins, which they had reverted to being the instant she was back in her body. They had stayed attached at the side for about two months, before finally separating and being two puzzle pieces instead of a single one again. 

Her and Barry got along beautifully with Kravitz. He knew she’d enjoy teasing the fuck out of him, just like Taako did to Barry, and Lup did exactly that. 

And Kravitz...Kravitz was just wonderful. Kravitz was everything. Taako wasn’t even sure how to describe. He was at a loss for words when Lup asked him about Kravitz. They weren’t soulmates, because that was him and Lup, but they were something special. If he and Lup were split-aparts, then he and Kravitz were made for each other. 

Yeah, that was a good analogy, that worked. Taako felt like he was finally understanding what Lup meant when she said that while Barry had her heart, Taako  _ was  _ her heart. 

He finally got that. 

Age One Hundred Nineteen

Lup didn’t have to imagine herself inserted into this world anymore. She was here. 

Angus was tugging at her sleeve and laughing with her, and Barry was there for her to lean against and kiss, and Kravitz was there for her to relentlessly tease, and Lucretia was there to talk softly with and bring up old jokes, Merle was there but so were his kids, who Lup loved to bits. Magnus was there to play with dogs with. Carey and Killian were there to spar with and hang out with all the time. And Taako...Taako was there again. 

They were by each others sides again, which was exactly where they belonged. 

LupandTaako. TaakoandLup. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! 
> 
> hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/cryptidmoth666) if u wanna chat about taz!


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